


Greek God

by MoniLovesMochi



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst, Eliott's bipolar disorder plays a part in this story, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Enemies to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:49:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24310015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoniLovesMochi/pseuds/MoniLovesMochi
Summary: Eliott and Lucas start out as strangers, staring at each other across the school yard, both wanting each other, but not finding the courage to speak to each other.When they eventually do and romance blossoms, something that happens breaks them apart and they only see each other 6 years later.Will they be able to rekindle the romance or has too much happened between them?The chapters will switch back and forth between the present (2020) and the past (2014).
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 46
Kudos: 129





	1. Sunday June 14th- Monday June 15th 2020

**Eliott**

Light seeps into Eliott’s bedroom window through the half open blinds, pulling him out of a restless sleep. He blinks a couple of times before fully waking. There’s a man next to him on the bed, lying on his side, facing away from Eliott and softly snoring. 

Clothes are scattered all around the room, his jeans somehow ended up on a standing lamp in the corner. He looks down at the naked back of the other man, it’s obvious what had happened the previous night, but Eliott’s memories are blurry and vague. His short brown hair and naked back don’t jog any memories. _Another one of those nights, great._

He sighs and gets out of bed, walking over to the trash bin. To his relief he sees a used condom in there. At least he was still making smart decisions while being out of it. He walks into the bathroom to take a shower. 

His reflection scares him when he passes the mirror. Sunken eyes stare back at him, and he looks even thinner than usual, his cheekbones almost seem to break through the face of his greyish skin. His hair also definitely needs a wash, it looks like he hasn’t showered in a week. _Fuck._ He needs to take better care of himself. 

Eliott grabs a towel and places it on the sink, before turning on the shower and waiting for it to turn warm. After checking the temperature, he sits down at the bottom of his shower, arms wrapped around his knees, the water hitting his back. 

He tries to remember what happened the previous night, but only small fragments come to his mind. Flashing lights, the smell of smoke and sweat, a sea of bodies, a tongue slipping into his mouth. He starts sobbing relentlessly, crying and crying until he is out of tears. 

When he gets up, he can barely stand on his feet. He washes his hair and body on wobbly legs. The warmth of the shower is giving him a small amount of comfort, but he will definitely need to start caring for himself better. Take his meds, shower regularly and stop drinking and doing drugs until he doesn't even know who he is anymore. 

He gets out of the shower and grabs the towel, drying himself off before wrapping it around his waist. Looking into the mirror, he notices that he already looks a little better with his hair washed. He puts some wax into it to get it into his signature bed-hair style. 

Walking into his bedroom, he sees that there’s no trace left of the guy that had been in his bed. His clothes are gone, Eliott’s still in the same place where he discarded them the night before. He checks the living room, to be sure that the guy is actually gone, but he finds it just as empty as his bedroom. _I’m not even worth sharing some breakfast with._ Tears spring to his eyes, but he holds them back, better focus his energy on some art than have another crying session. 

After changing into the paint-splattered sweatpants and t-shirt he always uses when working on his art, he has some toast with jam, before going into the spare bedroom that he turned into an art room. The easel he got from his friends years ago stands tall in the corner of the room and every inch of the wall is filled with paintings and drawings. A cart with painting supplies stands next to the easel, ready to be used for another artwork. 

Eliott had saved up all the money he got from selling his artwork and poured it into buying the apartment. When he got even more well-known, more of his artwork sold, making him able to live comfortably. His biggest dream is to eventually have a permanent exhibition in Paris and to have an apartment there, but also a nice little cottage in the countryside. A place to take his partner and kids, running around in the fields and enjoying the fresh air.

_I have to actually be able to love someone to have a partner and kids._

He shrugs off his thoughts and quickly glances at his earlier works scattered around the wall. He should get rid of his older drawings, that chapter of his life should be behind him. He has taken them down once before, but it didn’t feel right. Maybe he should just keep them there. 

Eliott takes an empty canvas from his storage cupboard and stares at the white surface, unsure of what he should do. _Okay, so is it time for a sad painting or a happy one?_ All his previous works have been pretty dark and sad, he must be bumming out all of his Instagram followers. A quiet chuckle leaves Eliott’s mouth, surprising him. _At least I can apparently laugh about it._

Squirting some colours onto his palette, he grabs a wide brush and swirls some blue on the canvas. He adds some yellow, mixing it until the canvas turns a bluish green, reminding him of an ocean. He uses a smaller brush to add some specks of emerald green and stops when he is satisfied with the result. 

While waiting for the background to dry, he takes out his sketchpad to draw out some ideas for the painting. _Better times, better days._ A clear image comes to his mind. An image that will fit the colours of the background perfectly. His favourite spot, his favourite person; the best moment of his life. 

Before everything went to shit and he ended up blacking out every week and sleeping with strangers. When he still believed he was worthy of being loved.

Sketching out two figures, Eliott gets lost in the moment. He draws and draws, until the image he had in his head comes to life in his sketch pad. After tracing the sketch onto the canvas, he starts painting the two figures in an embrace, leaving the faces blank. 

Whenever he paints, Eliott gets completely absorbed by the work. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, he always has to finish the painting in one sitting. He pours all his emotions into the work, coming out of it either happy and satisfied or drained and empty.

About three hours later he feels like the painting is done. It doesn’t need any more work and it perfectly conveys the feelings he wants to share with his audience. 

********************************************************************************************************************

Eliott is feeling happy. _Too happy_. He doesn’t feel like taking his meds, because they will make him feel numb and he needs to feel happy right now. Glancing at his reflection in the mirror, he notices he still looks just as shit as a couple of hours ago. _I will start taking care of myself tomorrow._ He combs through his hair and puts some moisturizer on his face, it’s the least he can do. 

Putting on his tightest black jeans and a white v-neck, Eliott feels like he could conquer the world. In the darkness of the nightclub, no one will notice the hollowness of his face or his skinny arms and legs. 

After pocketing his phone and wallet, he throws on a jacket and some boots and walks out of his apartment, walking down the stairs and into the cool summer air. 

It’s too early to actually go out, so he goes to his favourite restaurant and takes a seat at the bar, giving his favourite waitress a wide smile. She returns the smile when she spots him and walks over. “Hey, sweetie, the usual?” Eliott nods and grabs some utensils and napkins while waiting for his order.

He checks his phone, knowing full well he won’t have any messages. He scared his friends away years ago, and his family had never been too interested in him. The only person that still seems to care about him for some reason is his best friend, Idriss. They used to go out together each weekend, but after he got into a relationship, that stopped and Eliott was left alone to party. 

He is happy that Idriss still works as his manager, that way they still get to hang out at least once a week, even if it’s only for work. 

A small cough wakes Eliott up from his daydreams. The waitress is looking down at him with a concerned look on her face. She always reads his emotions and seems to genuinely care about how he is doing, giving Eliott the motherly feelings he never got from his own mother. Her round cheeks have a light pink glow to them and she is wearing her signature red lipstick. 

She smiles at him sweetly before handing him a plate with chicken and some potatoes. “Why are you never in here with someone? Seems to be a waste of such a handsome boy.” 

Eliott knows she means well, but it still stings. He is unsure how to answer, so he just shrugs before popping some chicken into his mouth. _Because I can’t commit. Because all I am good for is sex. Because no one actually wants me for more than just one night. Because my bipolar disorder messes everything up. Because I’m not worth love._ He wouldn’t want to ruin her day with his whining.

“Maybe someday, Maria, maybe someday.” She offers him a small smile before turning to another customer who is also sitting at the bar. 

The customer is a young man with half long brown hair and thick framed black glasses. He is handsome in a nerdy kind of way. He is very cute. When the boy looks up at him, Eliott quickly glances down at his plate. He looks back at the boy, who cocks his head and looks him up and down. Eliott feels a tingle in his stomach. 

The bell at the door rings and a beautiful girl walks in, with long legs and copper coloured hair, freckles cover her face and shoulders. She walks over to the boy at the bar and hugs him before kissing him. Eliott’s heart sinks and he quickly looks away, not wanting to spoil his happy mood. 

He eats all the food on his plate and finishes with two beers, saying goodbye to the waitress and heading out to wander the streets. He walks past the couple without looking at them. 

The area where he lives is pretty boring, only a few people wandering the streets. It might be the fact that it’s Sunday night, but Eliott still misses the sounds, smells and chaos of Paris at night. He misses being surrounded by the crowd, even though he still felt lonely most of the time. 

Sitting down on a bench, he lights up a smoke to calm down a little bit. His emotions seem to be all over the place, he is getting himself worked up too much, falling in love with strangers and then being sad and homesick. 

The smoke in his lungs makes him feel a little better, but he needs a drink. Something stronger than the beers he had at the restaurant.

Walking into the club, Eliott feels better already, feeling the bass course through his body. It’s not very crowded in the club, only some people are moving around on the dancefloor and a couple of them are sitting at the bar. He spots a pretty girl at the bar and makes eye contact with her. She smiles up at him. “Hey pretty boy, want to order me a drink?” Eliott chuckles. “Straight to the point I see. I like it.” 

She giggles and accepts the Gin & Tonic he orders for her. They finish their drinks and order three more rounds before heading towards the dancefloor. He glances around the club, not seeing anyone familiar. They dance, letting their bodies move close together, when the girl, Sarah _or Sasha? Sheilah?_ drags him towards the bathroom.

******************************************************************************************************************** 

When Eliott wakes up on Monday morning, he feels like absolute shit. He’s pretty sure it’s not a hangover, he just feels _used._ Every muscle in his body is aching and he feels like he has been in a roller coaster throughout the night. 

It’s a feeling that has become quite familiar to Eliott and he has no one else to blame for it but himself. He puts himself through all of this, no one is holding him at gunpoint, making him take drugs, drink alcohol or make him fuck every moderately attractive person that lets him. 

His bedroom is empty this time. He had left the girl at the club, practically running out of there after their short encounter in the club bathroom. He had known from the moment that she had opened her mouth that that was all it would be, a short moment of satisfaction followed by a long moment of emptiness and loneliness.

Shrugging off the sad and uneasy feelings, Eliott walks into his art room and looks at the artwork he had made the previous day. It’s really beautiful, a work to be proud of. One of his last actually happy moments. The shitty feeling he had when he woke up becomes even worse.

In need of some positive comments and encouragement, Eliott takes his phone and snaps a few pictures of the artwork. He experiments with the lighting, blinds open, closed or half-open. He settles for the latter and takes a beautiful picture of the work. It does the colours in the painting great justice. 

After choosing the best picture, he starts uploading it onto his Instagram account. He doesn’t have to think too long about the caption. The feelings that had overwhelmed him the day before give him enough inspiration. He uploads the work with a deep sigh, hoping that his biggest fan might understand, but he is almost sure that he won’t. 

_When everything was good._

**Lucas**

Locking up the art gallery he once hopes to own, Lucas looks around him, peering into the darkness of Paris at night. The hot, damp air of the day had made way for a cool breeze. He breathes in deeply, filling up his lungs and replacing the dull, stale air inside with the scent of rain on concrete and cold air, before making his way down the sidewalk. 

Only a handful of people are outside at this hour on a Sunday evening. Lucas glances at his watch and realizes he had been working until too late again. He really shouldn’t make this a habit, as he is not getting paid for overtime.

There was this one client in particular that had kept him at work so long. He had been searching for a very specific piece that the gallery had showcased in an art show, two years ago. _Two years_. Lucas hadn’t even started working there yet in 2018. 

The price the client was willing to pay, made it worth it. Hoping to impress his boss, he had searched heaven and hell to find the piece the client wanted to purchase. When all his coworkers started leaving, Arthur had asked him if he should stick around to help Lucas, but he had told him he should just head home, he was about done. 

It had taken him another hour to actually find the piece in their online register, his heart making a little jump when the client had happily emailed back that that was indeed the piece he had been looking for. After contacting the seller, he had quickly sent the invoice to the client and logged off, leaving the back office. 

Passing his favourite bakery and the apartment where Arthur lives, he rounds the corner to his own place. His apartment is barely worth the title. It’s a small studio, barely any bigger than the bedroom he had at home, but it’s better than still being with his parents. Lucas locks the door behind him and hangs his jacket on the small coat racket. Kicking off his shoes, he places his bag next to the door and walks into the kitchen, filling up a glass of water and heating up some leftovers. 

He had done his best to make his apartment a place that reflects his personality, adding a lot of pictures of his friends and family and some plants that he takes great care of. The kitchen is small, but alright for one person and the bathroom is actually pretty spacious compared to the rest of the flat. 

The couch in the makeshift living room is old and used, some tears and unexplained stains covering the olive green fabric. It is still comfortable enough and Lucas isn’t making a whole lot of money at the art gallery. 

The art gallery is a great place to work at, but it would be better if Lucas’ boss hadn’t been such a weasel. He couldn’t care less about the art, all he’s interested in is filling up his own pockets, giving his employees the bare minimum. With the pay Lucas is getting, he can just about afford living here and buy groceries, buying some nice luxuries on a rare occasion. 

Like the coconut shampoo he is currently lathering his hair with. The smell fills up the bathroom, and probably the rest of the apartment. Lucas loves this, taking his time before rinsing it out. The mango body wash he pairs with it, makes him feel like he is on a tropical island. _A boy can dream, right?_ Standing under the hot water, he feels how tired he actually is. It’s not even Monday. With a deep sigh, he turns the faucet off and steps out of the shower. 

Wrapped in a towel, he brushes his teeth before putting on his comfiest pajama set. Getting under the covers freshly showered is Lucas’ favourite feeling. He wraps the blanket around himself tightly, when he remembers that he hasn’t checked his phone since that afternoon, his work taking up all his attention. 

Multiple messages pop up on his screen, which he slowly scrolls through. A couple of them are from the group chat that Lucas had since high school, with Yann, Basile and Arthur.

 _Guys, Daphy turns 24 this friday, I want to throw her a little surprise party. - Baz_ _  
_ _It’s not a surprise anymore if you do it every year…. - Arth_ _  
_ _Sure man, I’ll be there. -Yann_ _  
_ _Also, Arthur stop being mean, you know she still acts surprised every year ;) - Yann_ _  
_ _Haha ok yeah, I’ll be there too. - Arth_

 _Girls coming too? -Arth_ _  
_ _YES! I have already asked them. Alexia is helping with the location. - Baz_ _  
_ _Lucas? You coming too? - Baz_ _  
_ _Lulu is working hard, trying to impress the big boss. - Arth_ _  
_ _Isn’t he a bit too old for Lulu? ;) - Yann_

Lucas scoffs at the last message. Yann likes teasing him about any man in his life. His boss though, not even if he got paid for it. 

With how tired he is already feeling, he is not looking forward to going out on Friday, but it’s always fun to hang out with his friends, so he quickly replies, even though it has been hours since they have sent the previous messages.

 _You are extremely funny Yann, I am SO glad we are friends… - Lucas_ _  
_ _And yes, Baz, I’ll be there. Let me know when and where. - Lucas_ _  
_ _FUCK YES, the whole gang together again! - Baz_ _  
_ _I assume you’re home safe then? - Arth_ _  
_ _Yes, dad, thank you for checking up on me ;) <3 - Lucas _  
_You know what you do to me when you call me daddy… -Arth_ _  
_ Get a room. - Yann

The replies come in pretty quickly, his friends being better with their phones and replying to messages on time than him. Sometimes he could strangle his friends, but in general they are great people who all care about each other and about him. Their messages make him smile. 

He sets his alarm, connects his phone to the charger and puts it on his nightstand, before lying back and sinking into a deep, dreamless sleep.

********************************************************************************************************************

The sound of the alarm rudely awakens Lucas from his peaceful slumber. He stretches his arms and legs before groggily getting up to shut his alarm off, ignoring the messages and notifications that show up on his screen.

After pressing the button on the coffee machine, he walks into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. His hair is a wild mess, which is kind of Lucas’ signature look _ever since…_ He shrugs the thought off and combs his hair, trying to tame it at least a little bit with some wax. Once he is satisfied with the result, he walks back into the living area to get dressed, putting on some jeans and his favourite _romance_ hoodie.

The smell of coffee fills up the room, making Lucas’ stomach growl. His stomach will have to be patient, because Lucas is currently out of food. He will go by the bakery before work, for some breakfast and lunch. Taking his time, slowly sipping his coffee, Lucas scrolls through Instagram. 

His favourite artist has posted a new picture of his work. It’s an absolutely breathtaking piece. An ocean of green mixed with blue surrounds two small faceless figures, caught up in an embrace, not aware of their beautiful surroundings. _When everything was good_ , the artist has titled it. 

Lucas likes all of his works, he is pretty sure he has hearted them all, fairly quickly after the artist has uploaded them. This piece in particular makes him feel different, it feels like a memory. He can’t quite place it though. 

Once, when the following of the artist was still quite small, he had commented: _I’m pretty sure I’m your number 1 fan!_ The artist, Otelli, had responded with: _I wish._ Which had left Lucas confused, but it fit Otelli’s whole persona, the mysterious titles and cryptic responses. 

A little while after that, Otelli had gotten a shout out from a famous artist, skyrocketing his followers. Lucas had opted to just like the works from now on, Otelli was probably too busy to answer now anyway. 

He pockets his phone and grabs his bag from where he left it last night and refills his water bottle before putting it back into his bag. After a quick glance at the clock in the kitchen, he quickly grabs his jacket and puts on his shoes before heading out, locking the door behind him. 

He hurries into the bakery on the way to work. Lucas likes the bakery, the decor is very cute and the staff is always friendly. There’s one person in particular that makes Lucas frequent the place often. Today, he is standing behind the counter. Blonde curls frame his always smiling face and big brown eyes make contact with his, the moment he enters the bakery. 

“Morning, Lucas. The usual?” The smile on his face is absolutely adorable. “Yes please, Noah.” He chirps, before sitting down at his usual spot by the window. He prefers this spot, because he can look at the people passing by the bakery, making their way to work or school, dragging their children behind them. 

Lucas tries to focus on his breakfast, but he keeps glancing over at the boy at the counter. He is joking around with an elderly lady. The way his mouth curls up is easily the cutest thing he has ever seen. The old lady keeps laughing and smiling at him. Noah hands her a bag of freshly baked bread before she slowly shuffles out of the bakery. 

The croissant he is eating is delicious. Noah and the other bakers really know their dough. The raspberry jam he always gets with it is his absolute favourite. He wouldn’t mind eating here every day. 

A group of girls enters the bakery, giggling and chatting loudly, disrupting Lucas of his peaceful thoughts and people staring. They order an assortment of muffins. Noah is smiling widely at them, while preparing their order. He occasionally glances over at Lucas, giving him a soft smile. 

The girls leave the bakery, all of them looking back at Noah and giving him their prettiest smiles, some of them also winking.. Lucas hears him chuckle before he turns around to resume his work. 

Noah has his sleeves rolled up and whenever he grabs something behind the counter, Lucas can’t help but stare at the way his muscles flex. He traces the veins in his arms and looks at the way the blonde curls catch the sunshine and bounce around on his head when he moves around, rolling the dough on the counter and sprinkling some flour on top. He is practically drooling onto his half eaten croissant. 

Lucas is still staring at Noah when he looks back at him, a sly smile on his face. _I should stop being a creep and eat my breakfast._ He focuses on the rest of his croissant and his juice, trying to get Noah out of his head, when he notices someone move away from the counter. Lucas feels like he is about to have a panic attack when he notices that it’s Noah, now walking towards him with a determined look on his face. 

Noah takes the seat opposite Lucas. ‘’So… It’s been exactly one month since I started working here, and also exactly one month since I’ve seen you first. I’m not sure if you feel the same way, but I think you are very cute and if you want to, I would like to take you out on a date.” Noah is staring at him with an expectant look. 

Lucas hadn’t expected that. Noah really just asked him out? Lucas hears the faint sound of the other customers chattering and the bell at the door going off a couple times, but he is stuck in his thoughts. 

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have. I misread.” He is about to get up when Lucas realizes he hasn’t responded yet. It was so unexpected that he still has to process what Noah said to him. Lucas reaches out his hand and puts it on Noah’s arm. “I would really like that. It’s just been a while since… you know, someone has asked me out.” 

Noah’s face goes through a couple of expressions before settling on a frown. “I can not believe that. A man like you?” Lucas feels the blush creep up his neck and reach his cheeks. He hides his face in his hands and stays silent. “Does Friday night suit you?” Lucas shakes his head. “No, surprise party that night. Unless you want to meet all my friends at once, I am free all Saturday. Maybe we can grab a coffee?” 

A bright smile appears on Noah’s face. “Sure, that sounds like a plan. I wrote my number on your napkin, text me later. I better go back to work.” He nods towards the queue that’s starting to appear at the counter. “Yes, please don’t lose your job, it would make my trips here way less fun.” They both chuckle when Noah gets up. 

After finishing his breakfast, Lucas adds Noah’s number to his contacts and sends him a message to let him know it’s his number. He packs the sandwich for his lunch into his bag and gets up to return his plate and glass at the counter, offering Noah his brightest smile. “You have my number now, text me when you know where you want to take me Friday.” Noah nods. “I will, Lucas, good luck at work.” 

He leaves the bakery, glancing at a smiling Noah once more through the window before heading towards the gallery. 

********************************************************************************************************************

When he gets to the gallery, most of his coworkers are already there, a rare occasion. Even Arthur is already at his desk. Lucas takes his seat next to him and places his bag under the desk. “Hey Lucas, did you have a busy morning at the bakery?” The grin on his face says enough. “I don’t even really believe it myself, but Noah asked me out.” Lucas can’t help but smile while saying it. 

“Fucking finally! I was wondering when one of you would finally grow some balls and ask the other out. With the sparks between you two I am surprised that the bakery hasn’t gone up in flames yet.” Lucas giggles. 

“We’re going out for coffee on saturday.” Arthur smiles softly. “It’s good that you are trying again, Lucas. What happened back then isn’t worth throwing your life away. They aren’t all like that, you know that right?” Lucas nods. “Noah seems like a good guy, but I’m still playing it safe, hence why the coffee date.” Arthur gives him a small pat on the back before turning on his computer, Lucas doing the same. 

They work in the small back office of the gallery. Arthur, Lucas and two interns who are majoring in Art History. Arthur starts working on designing some flyers for an art opening, moving around shapes and letters on his screen until he is satisfied with the result. Lucas answers some emails from potential clients and buyers. They work in silent harmony, their two other coworkers softly chatting about the current exposition and the artworks. 

Cigarette hanging loosely between his lips, his boss walks into the office. “Lallemant, I'll need you to get a new artist for this season. Justin backed out at the last time, found a better place or whatever.” He almost shouts it, like it’s Lucas’ fault that the other artist realized what a jerk his boss is. “Sure, boss.” He huffs and turns to Arthur. “You” he points at him, “help him.” He turns around and leaves their office. 

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know my name.” Lucas can’t help but laugh. “Your name is apparently You.” Arthur scoffs. “I’ve worked here just as long as you and he doesn’t have that many employees. How hard can it be?” Lucas laughs softly. “Don’t let it bother you, he doesn’t deserve the energy wasted on worries.” Arthur shrugs. 

The interns leave the small back office to start their tour of the gallery. A group of school children is supposed to come in in about half an hour.

“Should we use this opportunity to try and get your favourite artist then?” Lucas looks over at him. “Do you think they would actually consider this shitty gallery? I’m pretty sure they have bigger fish to catch.” 

“We can always try. We’re in a good spot in the centre of Paris, it’s just our boss that’s shit. If we minimize the contact with him, we might be okay.” Lucas really loves Arthur. He is smart and straight to the point, not overthinking every situation like he does. 

“Okay, yeah, I like the way you think. Let me contact him through Instagram.” He logs into the gallery’s account and sends Otelli a message, hoping he will respond quickly.

Lucas is feeling all kinds of nervous when he sees the message being delivered. Otelli isn’t online yet, so he decides to distract himself with some emails he hasn’t answered yet. He keeps refreshing the tab where Instagram is opened, barely able to focus on anything else.

“Your fidgeting is getting on my nerves, Lu.” Arthur pushes his glasses into place and gets up from his computer. “I’m going to get us some coffee. Do you need anything else from the kitchen?” Lucas shrugs. “Coffee would be great, thank you Arthur.” He leaves Lucas to his worries and closes the office door behind him. 

The response comes quicker than he expects. Arthur hasn’t even returned from the kitchen yet. Lucas’ heart skips a beat when the message pops up on his screen. He can’t believe it, can’t believe that Otelli would actually respond. 

He keeps rereading the message, making sure it doesn’t magically disappear from his screen. His heart is beating so fast, nerves slowly getting replaced by excitement. 

Arthur sits back at his desk and hands Lucas a steaming cup of coffee. “Why is your face so red?” He inquires with a grin, probably already aware of the reason. “Look, Otelli replied, we got him!” Lucas couldn’t be happier.

The sound that leaves Arthur’s mouth is a mix between a yell and a cheer. “Fucking hell Lu, you’re finally going to meet him after all these years.” 

_Dear Lucas, I would love to have an exposition at your gallery. You can call me at this number, my manager will handle all the details with you. See you soon. Otelli_


	2. Friday April 4th 2014

**Lucas**

The boy is nonchalantly leaning against a wall on the front porch of the house, smoking a cigarette, lighting it up with every inhale. He is slowly exhaling the smoke, looking up at the sky, seemingly not aware of his surroundings. 

The wind is playing with the boy’s hair, messing the strands up in the most perfect way. Beautiful blue eyes glisten in the moonlight. He is wearing light skinny jeans and dark boots. The black of his leather jacket paints a sharp contrast to the light skin that colours his neck. And his jaw.  _ That jawline. Those rosy lips. What would it feel like to bite his lower lip? _

Lucas would like to get closer to the boy. He’s only ever dared to look at him from afar, silently admiring him from a distance. Whenever he saw the boy, he seemed to be perfect; everything he did, he did with grace. Long, slender limbs moved around effortlessly. 

The boy had transferred schools two weeks ago and not much was known about him. Apparently he was quiet in class, mysterious. A beautiful, mysterious boy who had appeared out of nowhere and had captured the whole school in amazement. 

All kinds of rumours were going around about the boy. He had either been in jail, in a mental institution or he had been kicked out of his previous school for inappropriate behaviour. Lucas didn’t believe any of it, although, looking at the boy from afar, he would imagine that the boy had a troubled soul; a heavy heart. 

Eliott Demaury. That was his name, apparently. Lucas liked the sound of it. It sounded noble in a way, fitting of the way this boy looked and moved around, but not fitting of the crazy, criminal theories that were going around. 

He is a year above Lucas, in his final year, so they don’t share any classes. The only moments that he sees him is during lunch breaks in the cafeteria and occasionally in the school yard. And tonight for the first time at this party, outside of school, in a different setting. 

_ How can he look so good, so godlike, just standing there.  _ Lucas feels his stomach make all kinds of twists. He should get going towards the house, but he seems to be frozen in place. He will have to walk past  _ him,  _ get closer to him than ever before _. _

Occasionally, it looks like the boy peers into the distance, glancing towards him. Lucas must seem weird to him, just standing there on the street, not moving. He takes his phone out of his pocket and checks his messages, maybe he could pretend to be waiting for someone while he gathers the courage to walk so close to the boy.  __

_ No, this is weird, I should just go. Grow up, Lucas. _

He swallows and makes his way towards the house. The path seems to be endless, making Lucas wonder if it always had been that long. He makes sure not to trip and embarrass himself before the boy.

Walking up the steps of the porch, it feels like the boy’s gaze is on him, but when he looks up, the boy is focussed on his own shoes.

He silently walks past the boy. Reaching for the door handle, he glances over at him. They are so close now that he could reach out and touch him, making sure that this boy is actually real and not just a figment of his imagination. 

Lucas doesn’t reach out. The boy hasn’t looked at him, he hasn’t even moved a muscle and is now looking out into the distance again, smoke surrounding him. 

_ He has probably never even noticed me, this crush is pathetic, I am pathetic. Look at him, he must have enough people interested in him, why would he choose me out of all people?  _

Lucas pushes the thoughts to the back of his mind, opens the door without looking back and lets himself be engulfed by the sounds and movement of the party going on inside 

**Eliott**

He notices the boy staring at him from the street. He is standing under a street light, pretending to look at something on his phone. He catches his glances though. It’s not the first time he has seen him. The boy had caught his eye at the start of his first day at the new school. 

It had been sunny that day and Eliott had been feeling optimistic. A new school, a fresh start. Even if it had been weird to transfer in the middle of his last school year, he had been happy for the chance. Walking through the gates and entering the school yard, he had glanced around if he could recognize anyone, but the faces were all unfamiliar. 

He would make new friends quickly, he always did. People tended to instantly like him because of his looks. Not making the effort to really get to know him before deciding they wanted to be his friend. Eliott didn’t mind, but he would actually like to have someone that likes him for him.

Walking into the school, Eliott was lost in his thoughts when he bumped into someone who was on his way out. Something about him had felt  _ different _ . 

The boy in question was walking towards the schoolyard, laughing with his friends, he hadn’t even looked back at Eliott. He probably hadn’t even noticed him, but Eliott’s world had stopped at that moment. Like someone slowed down his surroundings, everything went by in slow-motion while the boy just kept on walking. His heart had been beating like crazy in his chest and it only stopped when he didn’t see the boy anymore.

In the next few weeks, whenever he saw the boy, the same feeling overwhelmed him. It was less intense than the first time he saw him, but his stomach still did twists every time he looked into those bright blue eyes. He would sometimes catch the boy staring at him, but whenever Eliott looked back, the boy quickly looked away. 

Eliott still wasn’t sure what it meant. It had been two weeks and he couldn’t seem to get this boy off his mind. All his artwork was now dedicated to the memory of that first meeting and the feeling coursing through every part of his body, every vein filling up with an expecting, hopeful energy. 

He sees the boy nervously fidgeting with his phone before pocketing it and walking up the path, towards the house, towards Eliott. A nauseating, nervous feeling has his stomach in twists and his breath is stuck in his throat. 

Eliott sneaks a glance towards the boy when he is making his way up the stairs, but quickly averts his gaze when the boy looks up. He catches a glimpse of the spark in his eyes. 

When the boys walks past him towards the door, Eliott considers stepping out of the shadows and into the light, but something holds him back. He wants to see the boy up close, comb a hand through his wild hair, place his hand under his chin and look into his eyes, but he can’t. 

He could just reach out his arm and touch him, but something holds him back.

Eliott notices the boy glance at him, out of the corner of his eye.  _ What if he walks up to me? Would he talk to me? What would I even say?  _ Eliott’s mind is going crazy, blood coursing through his veins.  __

By the time he looks up, the boy has gone inside and closed the door behind him. Eliott’s heart sinks. 

**Lucas**

He barely has any time to take his jacket off before Arthur drags him into the room, handing him an unknown mix of alcohol. Trusting Arthur, he takes a sip. The taste is absolutely horrible..

“What was in that cup?” Arthur shrugs and giggles. “A recipe Basile came up with.”  _ Ah, that makes sense.  _ “Jesus, it tastes like gasoline.” Arthur just grins at him. 

“Is he still whining over Daphné, because she won’t be nice to him?” Arthur nods. “Yeah. Although I’m pretty sure it turns him on. He probably has all kinds of BDSM dreams about her.” Lucas bursts out into laughter and almost chokes on his awful drink. 

“Arthur, please, don’t make me picture that!” Arthur just laughs and makes them another drink, one that doesn’t taste like it came from a gas station.  __

“Speak of the devil.” Arthur grins when Basile and Yann walk up to them. “What were you guys laughing about?” Yann has a grin on his face like he already knows. Arthur pushes his glasses up his nose before answering. “We were just talking about the girls at this party.” 

Girls. The gang’s favourite topic. Sometimes Lucas wondered if they even had any other interests. It was all they could ever talk about. Who the hottest girls were, who they would like to get with and how. 

Lucas isn’t interested in girls at all. They are pretty and Lucas enjoys their company, but kissing them doesn’t excite him. He has known he is gay ever since he started high school, maybe even before. No one knows this about him, not even his friends or family, he isn’t ready to share that part of himself yet.

“Lucas? Hello?” Yann is waving a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his thoughts and back to reality. “What?” He blinks a couple of times and sees his friends’ wide grins. “We were wondering who you would like to get with tonight.” 

_ Eliott, I would like to get with Eliott, even though he is now dancing with that girl over there.  _

If only he could say it out loud. Instead, he scans the room. A small brunette is bouncing around with her blonde friend. She looks cute enough. 

He points her out to the boys. “That little brunette over there, she looks cute.” 

The girl looks over at them at that exact moment, enticing cheers from the three boys. When she starts walking towards them, they fall silent. 

The girl has her hair in a ponytail, which bounces with every step she takes. With a huge smile on her face, she introduces herself. “Chloe!” She reaches out her hand, which Lucas takes. “Charmed. Lucas.” 

His friends are staring in amazement as Lucas kisses her hand and stares into her eyes. “Want to dance, Lucas?” He nods and takes the hand that she reached out, moving into the dancing pile of bodies, the group of boys following behind them. 

“Hey, isn’t that Eliott? That new guy. People say that he is a real ladies man. Maybe we should ask him for some tips.” Basile chirps. “Maybe  _ you _ should ask for some tips, I’m doing fine for myself.” Yann responds with a cheeky grin. Arthur agrees with Yann, Lucas stays silent.

He glances over at Eliott, who is now getting closer and closer to the girl, grinding their bodies up against each other. He grabs her chin and pulls her face up towards his, kissing her.

Lucas doesn’t seem to be able to look away, his eyes glued to the scene happening on the dancefloor. Eliott seems so passionate, he wishes he was in the girl’s place. What would it feel like to have his lips on Lucas’ own? 

_ What the fuck am I doing? He is kissing her, not me. He doesn’t even know who I am and I would be too much of a pussy to act on my feelings anyway. _

Lucas is starting to feel sick to his stomach and quickly looks away, focussing on Chloe, who is bouncing around in front of him, placing his hands on her hips and joining her in the dance.

**Eliott**

Eliott is enjoying the cool night air, staring up at the stars, when a tall girl with shoulder length brown hair walks over to him. “Can I have a drag?” Eliott silently nods and quietly studies her. She is nothing special, but she does have a pretty face and a tall, lean body.  _ Why not?  _

“Lucille. In case you were wondering.” She gives him a warm smile, which he returns. “Eliott.” She nods and takes a drag, her eyes never leaving his, she exhales the smoke. 

The tight striped top and skinny jeans she is wearing fit her nicely. He can see that she made an effort with her make up, wearing a nice burgundy lipstick and black eyeliner. Her ears are pierced with multiple earrings, which Eliott likes. 

“Haven’t seen you around here before, I’m sure I would have remembered.” Her mouth turns into a slight smile while she says that, probably very proud of her smooth line. “No, I’m new around here.” She nods and doesn’t ask more. 

They walk inside together once the cigarette is finished. They haven’t really exchanged much words, but Eliott knows what is expected of him.

Pulling Lucille close to him on the makeshift dance floor, he looks at the boy. He is laughing with someone Eliott can’t make out from behind. He has an adorable laugh, very French.  _ What would he be laughing about? Could I be able to make him laugh like that? _

Lucille is grinding up his body, but Eliott can’t seem to get into it. He puts his hands on her lower back and moves in harmony with her, but his gaze keeps getting pulled over to the boy. Some familiar faces surround the boy now, the same group that had been with him the very first time he had seen Lucas. 

He sees a small brown haired girl walk up to Lucas, pushing through the crowd. She stops in front of him.  _ Who is she? Do they know each other? _

“Eliott? Are you okay?” Lucille looks at him with a questioning look on her face. “Of course, sorry.” He gives her a warm smile and pulls her even closer. 

Her eyes glide over his face, resting at his lips, before looking up again. Eliott cups her chin and slowly lifts her face up before leaning in and kissing her softly on the lips.

His eyes seem to automatically search for the boy. He doesn’t usually keep his eyes open, but his body doesn’t seem to be the one in control at this moment. 

The boy stares back at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar.  _ Could he be… jealous?  _

Eliott’s heartbeat seems to be louder than the music surrounding them. The boy is still staring at him, the girls standing in front of her, not seeming to notice. Lucille’s tongue glides into his mouth, pulling Eliott out of his thoughts. He reciprocates the movements and deepens the kiss, all the while looking at the boy.  __

The taste of peppermint, smoke and something sweet he can’t quite place fills his senses. Lucille is a good kisser, he can’t deny that, but it doesn’t make him feel like the world could stop around him. Not like  _ that boy  _ had done. 

**Lucas**

Lucas doesn’t want to see him with that random girl, but curiosity gets the better of him. When he looks over at him again, he is met with an intense stare. Eliott has stopped making out with the girl, but when Lucas looks over, he leans down to kiss the girl, still maintaining eye contact with Lucas.

Lucas’ heart stops.  _ Why is he looking at me like that, while he is kissing her?  _

He isn’t quite sure what to do. Chloe is still dancing in front of him with his hands on her hips, not seeming to notice the weird moment going on right in front of her. Eliott is still staring into Lucas’ eyes, deepening the kiss with Lucille. 

Two can play this game. Lucas pulls Chloe towards his body and dances closely to her. He brings his face to the side of hers. “I would really like to kiss you.” He whispers into her ear. Chloe’s face beams up and she excitedly nods. Tilting his head to go in for the kiss, he catches Eliott’s gaze and keeps it while he leans in towards Chloe. 

Kissing Chloe feels all right, she has very soft lips and she tastes like strawberry vodka, which is very enjoyable. The fact that she is a girl doesn’t excite him much, but she very much seems to be into it, letting her hands travel all over his body.

He doesn’t even notice it at first, his focus fully on Eliot’s eyes, who is still intensely gazing at him while making out with the girl. Hands glide over his lower abdomen, resting on top of his jeans. Faint cheering pulls Lucas out of his thoughts, breaking away from Eliott’s eyes, he suddenly realizes what is going on. 

Chloe pulls away and grabs his hand, pulling him towards the hallway, where they aren’t surrounded by so many people. He is pushed against a wall, Chloe’s body pressing up against his. Her hands travel down his body again, reaching under his shirt now.

Lips move from his mouth towards his neck, giving Lcas a moment to catch his breath. Looking into the living room, he sees his friends looking at them, Arthur giving him a thumbs, Basile staring with his mouth wide open and Yann grinning. 

Lucas really wishes he could tell his friends the truth and have them be just as supportive as they are in this moment. Even though they have always been there for him, they’re still teenage boys that make gay jokes all the time and he just isn’t sure of their response. He couldn’t bear losing them.

Would they actually be just as supportive if he had stood there in that hallway with a boy? Could he count on them just as much in that scenario or would they recoil in disgust, hiding their faces while pretending not to know him? 

“Lucas? Hello? Lucas?” Chloe is standing in front of him, waving to get his attention. He hadn’t even noticed that she had let go of him. “Are you into me or not? It feels like you are miles away.” 

His friends are all staring at him. If he would push Chloe away now, it would be too suspicious. He has to go on with it, even though he would rather be in someone else’s arms.

Lucas looks at her before giving her a warm smile. “Yeah, sorry, just had too much to drink, can’t seem to focus.”

She softly smiles at him and leans her body back into his, finding his lips with her own. He is just about to reciprocate the kiss, when he sees Eliott and the girl walk past them, towards the stairs. Eliott’s gaze falls on him and he smiles slyly before following the girl upstairs. 

_ Did he actually just smile at me? What does that mean? Could he be into me? No, I’m stupid. He is following her up to have sex with her. Fuck.  _ Lucas sighs and starts to feel angry. __

He doesn’t want to be there anymore. He gently pushes Chloe away and searches for his jacket on the coat rack. “What the fuck are you doing, Lucas?” Arms crossed and red cheeks, she is standing there, waiting for an answer. 

“I’m sorry, not feeling well, think I might have to throw up, sorry.” He grabs his jacket and turns on his heel, not looking back at her when he closes the door behind him. 

He makes his way through the front yard towards the street, sending a quick text to the group chat, letting his friends know that he is on his way home. Lucas starts walking faster, trying to get his mind off Eliott and letting his lungs fill up with the cool night air. His heart is beating like he just ran a marathon.  __

_ What the actual fuck was that? Why am I worried about this boy? Why should I care what he does?  _

He ignores the sickly feeling in his body and walks home. After letting himself into his parent’s house as quietly as possible, he tiptoes up the stairs to get ready for bed. His reflection in the bathroom mirror looks back at him with sad eyes while he is brushing his teeth. 

After walking to his bedroom, Lucas strips down to his underwear and lies down in his bed, wrapping himself in his blanket. His mind involuntarily keeps playing out the events of the night over and over again. Eliott’s face filling up all his thoughts. Rethinking what he could have done differently, how it could have played out better.

Would Eliott still have gone upstairs with the girl if Lucas had gone up to him outside of the house? Why was he staring at Lucas while making out with that girl? Why did he smile at him?  _ What the fuck does it matter anyway? He isn’t into me.  _

He turns to lie on his stomach and shoves his face into his pillow, sobbing into it, not stopping until sleep gets him. 

**Eliott**

Lucille pulls back and inhales deeply. “You are good.” She licks her lips and smiles at him. “Want to go see if there’s a free room upstairs?” Eliott nods. He isn’t all too much into her, but he needs the company, he needs to feel  _ loved. _

He lets Lucille lead the way, following her through the crowd. He passes the boy’s friends on the way, who are doing rounds of shots and yelling something after every round. 

Walking past the boy, he can’t help but look over at him. The boy is so beautiful, standing there, pushed up against the wall. It’s a sight to be seen, so incredibly hot. He only wishes it would be him standing there instead of that girl. 

The boy’s cheeks are a crimson red and his hair is a wild mess, nothing like what he looked like standing under the streetlight. He looked so put together and confident on that street. Secretly looking up at him from time to time. 

Eliott can’t help himself but smile at him, but the boy just looks at him with a puzzled face.

_ Of course he doesn’t smile back, why would I even do that? He doesn’t know who I am and he is making out with that girl. What am I even doing? _

“I think this bathroom is empty.” Lucille giggles and pulls him inside, locking the door behind them. She is on him immediately, pushing him up against the door and kissing him deeply, before pulling back and tugging at his shirt. 

Pulling his shirt over his shoulders, he feels her eyes on him, investigating every line and every vein in his body. She takes her own shirt off as well, revealing a lacy black bra. Eliott picks her up and puts her on the counter, standing between her legs and kissing her passionately. 

He takes a condom out of his back pocket and places it on the counter next to her. “Well prepared, I see.” She smiles and reaches down to open up his jeans, letting them slide down. Eliott helps her get out of hers when they continue making out.

Eliott goes at it mechanically. Who was he kidding when he told himself he needed to feel loved. This is  _ fucking _ not  _ making love. _ He has never experienced the second one, always settling for the first one.

“That was really good, fuck, guess the rumours are true then.” Eliott’s freezes. “What do you mean?” Lucille grins at him. “That you sex skills are on par with your looks.” She looks so satisfied uttering those words, like she knows how he actually feels about it, deep down inside. 

_ Great, I already have the reputation of a pretty boy that is good for one thing only.  _

Eliott sighs and forces a smile towards her, before buttoning up his jeans, pulling his shirt over his head and leaving her behind. 

When he walks into the hallway, the boy and the girl are gone. It’s not hard to spot his friends, they’re the loudest group in the living room, chatting and laughing loudly, while still going at it with the shots. 

They seem like a fun bunch to Eliott, he wouldn’t mind being friends with them, but his focus is on their missing friend at the moment. He scans the room, but he can’t seem to find the boy. 

_ He went home with the girl.  _ It makes him feel weird, the knot in his stomach returning. 

He grabs a shot of the table that’s next to the friend group and pours it down his throat, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart. He isn’t sure what is going on with him. Why is he so emotional about a boy who is practically a stranger to him? Nothing makes sense. His heart seems to know more about the situation than his brain does.

“Went home, not feeling well.” He hears the boy with the glasses read out loud. “He just left Chloe there in the hallway. I tried to comfort her, but she shoved me away.” The curly haired boy replies. “Yeah no shit.” They laugh at the boy and move away from the table.

_ So he went home alone, just left the girl he was kissing and texted his friends that he wasn’t feeling well.  _ None of this makes sense to Eliott. He needs sleep. And a shower, leaving the worries for tomorrow. 

Eliott is about to head out when he spots the brunette girl that was pushed up against the boy. Chloe, apparently, is yelling something at her friend, arms flailing around wildly and looking quite upset. Probably complaining about how she got left behind. Eliott can understand, but he is happy that the boy left without her.

Walking past them, he leaves the house to go home. When he closes the front door, he hears someone yell his name, but he is tired and he wants to go home. 

His fast pace takes him across the streets of Paris in a quick tempo, arriving at his parent’s apartment in no time. They are at their holiday home in the countryside, leaving Eliott to his own devices. Every free moment his parents have, they go there, which he doesn’t mind at all.

Eliott prefers being on his own. His parents have never really been there for him anyway, always busy with their work and avoiding him as much as possible. It had been like that for the past three years, ever since his parents deemed him old enough to stay home alone at fifteen years old, not even really offering to take him with them, even when it was over the weekend or during a holiday. 

It had given him the opportunity to experiment with drugs, alcohol and sex from that age. Occasionally he would throw a party, making him very popular at his previous school. Until the neighbours had called the police on him one too many times.

He walks into his bedroom and sits down on his bed, but he suddenly doesn’t feel tired anymore. Moving over to his desk, he takes his sketchbook out of his school bag and starts drawing. He draws the boy from memory, standing there under the streetlight, looking all innocent,  _ angelic.  _

Now that he has started drawing the boy, he will probably never be able to draw anything else, never finding a muse like that unknown boy. He doesn’t even know his name, but Eliott is still somehow sure that they are meant to be together. 


	3. Friday June 19th - Sunday June 21st 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has become a really massive chapter, but I'm happy how it turned out. Hope you'll enjoy! :)

**Lucas**

The end of the week rolls around faster than Lucas had expected. The team at the gallery had been busy all week, preparing for the new exhibition. Lucas had been extremely excited, because he would meet his favourite artist in person, after years of online admiration. 

Apart from being excited, he had also been a nervous wreck all week. Meeting someone in real life that you have admired from afar can either be just as you have expected them to be or a huge disappointment, Lucas is really afraid that it will be the latter. 

He tries to take his mind off the meeting and on the party that will happen in an hour. Choosing an outfit and wrapping the gift should be his priority now. The meeting will only happen on Sunday, no need to make a fuss about it now. 

The shrill sound of the doorbell pulls Lucas out of his thoughts. He buzzes Yann in without checking if it’s actually him and opens the front door, leaving it slightly open. Lucas sometimes wonders how he hasn’t gotten killed in his apartment yet.

“Hey dude, nice outfit. Although I’m pretty sure they won’t let you into the bar wearing that.” Yann points at him with a grin on his face.

Lucas looks down at his boxers and t-shirt and scoffs. “I just can’t seem to focus, I’m so nervous.” Yann looks at him, an inquiring look on his face. “About your date tomorrow?” 

_Shit. The date._ To be completely honest he had forgotten about his coffee dit with Noah. They had texted a little bit, but Lucas had been too busy at work to visit the bakery, sending one of the interns to pick up a their lunches. 

The exhibition and Otelli had taken up all the space in his mind. Yann had been really supportive and excited about the date, and he doesn’t want to disappoint him. 

“Uhm.. Yeah, about the date and also a little bit about Sunday.” Yann nods. “Meeting your big idol.” If Lucas would have payed attention, he would have noticed that he sounded sarcastic, but his mind is too occupied with worry. 

He turns on his heel and heads towards his closet. “Make yourself useful and help me pick out an outfit for the party.” 

Yann sighs before walking over to Lucas. He rummages around and pulls out some dark wash jeans and a grey v-neck shirt. Lucas gladly takes the clothes and changes into them.

He checks himself out in the mirror. “This looks good, Yann, thanks.” Yann just nods absentmindedly and takes a seat on the couch. 

“How are things on your end Yann? How is Emma managing the wedding stuff?” Yann smiles a wide smile. “She’s a very typical Bridezilla, but I am dealing with it.” Lucas chuckles and sits down next to him on the couch. 

He can’t really imagine Emma screaming at a caterer for having the wrong flowers or whatever, but he can imagine that it’s still a stressful situation for the both of them. 

“If anyone can deal with her, it’s you.” Yann nods. “That is very true. I’m glad she is doing all the organizing, because I couldn’t handle it. I’m very lucky to have her.”

Lucas is happy for Yann, the two of them have been on and off since high school, until Yann finally stepped up and asked Emma to move it with him. A couple months later he had asked her to marry him. 

The marriage will take place at the end of the summer in August. If all goes well on his date with Noah, Lucas might have a date to bring. It’s an exciting thought after all those years of always showing up everywhere alone. 

“You sure are Yann.” Lucas smiles at his best friend before getting up from the couch. 

“I will wrap Daphy’s gift and then we can go on our way, grab some dinner first?” Yann nods and takes his phone from his pocket, waiting for Lucas to get ready. 

“So, this Otelli dude, you have no clue who he could be? Where does he live?” Lucas looks up from his gift wrapping and meets Yann’s eye. “No clue, like I showed you, he signed off with Otelli. To be honest, I’m not even sure we are talking about a he, it could be a woman as well.”

Yann nods, but stays silent. “I also have no clue where he or she lives, but we are meeting at the gallery, so I presume they don’t live too far away.” He pauses for a moment. “Why are you so curious about all this?” Yann shrugs. 

“Don’t know, I mean, we don’t even know what they look like. Could be a serial killer or some creepy old perv for all we know.” 

“A very talented one at that.” Yann smiles but doesn’t laugh. “I will be in a very public spot Yann, the worst thing that could happen is that they turn out to be a huge asshole, but other than that I can promise you that I will be safe.” 

“Why are you so curious about all this?” Yann shrugs.

If Yann still has any doubts, he doesn’t share them with Lucas, sitting in silence and staring at the wall. 

Lucas follows his eyes to a picture of them together, about six years ago. He had hung it up the second he moved into the apartment, because it always makes him smile. Yann isn’t really smiling though, just silently looking at it. 

He doesn’t ask, knowing Yann well enough after all the years of friendship. He will come to Lucas if he wants to talk about his feelings. 

“Done. Let’s go.” He puts the gift, a fancy bottle of perfume he spent way too much money on, in his bag and slings it over his shoulder. The spink sparkly wrapping paper he wrapped it in is Daphné’s favourite. He hopes it will make her happy. 

He grabs his favourite pair of sneakers and a jacket for later in the night. 

Yann is already at the door, a grin on his face. “Should we go get some cheap pizza?” Lucas puts his shoes on and nods with a smile. “Yes please. I can go for pizza anytime.” 

********************************************************************************************************************

The Otelli topic doesn’t come up anymore while the boys are eating their pizza’s. They chat about their friends, the previous ‘surprise’ parties and their jobs. 

After their quick dinner, they head off to the party, meeting the rest of the friend group. 

Alexia had chosen a bar as the location, which Lucas is grateful for, he could really go for a drink right now. Especially after this busy week.

The bar is a walking distance away from Lucas’ apartment, so he can drink however much he wants without the worries about dying in a car accident or getting lost on the bus. 

Arthur is standing outside the bar, fidgeting with a joint. “Quick smoke before we head in? The girls declined and smoking alone is so sad.” Yann nods and grabs a lighter from his pocket, lighting the joint up. “Merci.” 

They pass the joint around until it’s finished. Arthur is cracking a lot of jokes, probably also feeling the relief of the weekend. Lucas feels light and mellow, quite the contrary to the stress of the past week.

“You guys go in, I am picking Emma up around the block.” Lucas hears Arthur mutter a quiet _whipped_ under his breath, which Yann chooses to ignore, turning around with a grin and leaving them behind. 

Lucas and Arthur walk in together, seeing a big chunk of the group already inside. Apart from Emma, Yann, Basile and Daphné everyone else is scattered around the bar, caught up in conversation and laughter.

Apparently Alexia had gotten permission to decorate the bar, because there are balloons all over the place and a cake in a corner of the bar. “Lucas!” Alexia runs up to him and flings her arms around him, her pink locks tickling the side of his face. 

“Hey Lexi, how did you do all this?” He points towards the balloons and the cake. “I might or might not be banging one of the bartenders.” She winks. 

Lucas looks over to the bar, spotting two bulky guys. Not really her type. “Which one?” She giggles and nods towards the other end of the bar, where a pretty blonde girl is stacking chairs. 

“Now, _that_ makes sense.” Alexia gives him a wide smile, a sparkle in her eyes. “It really does. Lily is amazing, so sweet and smart. I think it might even become more than just sex, but we’ll have to wait and see.” 

“That would be great Lex. You should introduce me after we’re finished with the surprise part of the party.” He smiles at her warmly. “Yes, the surprise part, let’s get started on that.” 

Alexia excuses herself and stands in the middle of the bar. She claps a few times to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, so we have the bar to ourselves for an hour. Baz just texted me that he is on his way with Daphné, so we should hide and turn the lights off. Oh and gifts go on this table.” She taps on the table next to her and proceeds to walk toward the light switch. 

Yann and Emma walk in right on time. Alexia points them towards the gift table. “Gifts, there. And hide, quick.” 

Once everyone has put their gifts on the table, they look for hiding spots. When they are all out of sight, Alexia turns the light switch off. “They are out front.” She whispers before she ducks behind the bar. 

The door opens, before Daphné and Basile walk into the dark bar. “Surprise!” Multiple voices yell, while jumping out of their hiding spots. Alexia turns the lights on at the same time.

For some reason, Daphné seems genuinely surprised, even though the friends do this same thing every year, just at different locations. 

“Thank you guys! I wasn’t expecting that.” Lucas sees Imane roll her eyes, but she smiles soon after. Daphné’s own smile makes the surprise party worth it every year, spanning from ear to ear, making her look just like she did in high school. 

They all take turns hugging her and wishing her well, her smile never wavering.

Daphné picks up Lucas’ gift and smiles at him, recognizing his choice of wrapping paper. She opens it up with a small shriek. “This is one of my favourites and I just ran out! Lucas, how did you know?” He shrugs. “Lucky guess.” Basile winks at Lucas from behind her. 

After the gifts and the cake, the bar opens up, letting other people in as well. Most of them pay no mind to the decorations, just coming in for their weekly supply of alcohol and dancing.

A bunch of young girls do notice the balloons and drunkenly sing Happy Birthday for Daphné, which makes her blush. 

When the singing is done, the group grabs some drinks at the bar and heads towards the dancefloor, everyone dancing together. Alexia dances with Lucas, constantly eyeing the blonde bartender.

Lily walks over to them when the line at the bar thins out. “Hey Lexi!” She hugs her before kissing her. “Hey, you must be Lucas! I’m Lily.” 

“Nice to meet you Lily. I’ve heard great things about you.” She giggles and looks over at Alexia. “You are telling people about my amazing skills in bed now huh?” 

Alexia’s face reddens before she smiles. “Lucas would definitely be the wrong audience for that Lily.” 

“Allright girls, I will leave you two to discuss your sex skills.” Lucas laughs before heading towards the bar for a refill. 

He joins Yann and Emma on the dancefloor, joined by Arthur and Basile. Daphné is chatting with Imane at the bar. Everyone seems to be having a great time. 

Lucas is completely lost in the alcohol and the dancing, when he suddenly feels weird. The feeling is familiar, but distant, like a faint memory. He freezes on the spot, not sure what the feeling means. 

He looks around the bar, not sure what he is actually searching for, because he can’t seem to place the feeling. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary, but the feeling lingers. 

Then, just as suddenly as the feeling came on, it goes away again. Warmth filling up Lucas’ body and the beating of his hart steadily getting to a normal pace again. 

_What the actual fuck?_

**Eliott**

It had all happened so fast. Lucas had invited him to Paris. Okay, sure, Lucas was probably not aware that Otelli was actually him, but this would give him a chance to explain, a chance to fix everything and maybe even get back what they had. 

Eliott is sure that the months he had with Lucas had been the only time in his life that he had genuinely been happy. No one had been able to give him that same feeling and happiness that he felt when they were together, all those years ago.

The problem is, Eliott had only really come to appreciate their relationship after it had already been over, when he felt what he was missing out on without Lucas. But then it had already been too late and he couldn’t fix it in the state he was in back then. 

Eliott had followed Lucas’ journey through life on social media, trying to never miss anything. He had seen him get the job at the gallery, get the keys to his first apartment and all the friends they had shared in high school. 

Placing his suitcase on the hotel bed, Eliott starts to get nervous. He is overthinking the situation. Lucas wouldn’t run away when he sees him, right? Would he yell at him? He has every right to yell at him after what happened, but then again, they were only teenagers back then and if he gives Eliott the chance to explain, he is sure they could make up.

He nervously fidgets around with the zipper of the suitcase. They are meant to meet in two days, why is he already so worried now? Maybe he should go get a drink after dinner to calm down.

Suitcase first. He puts his clothes away in the spacious closet and his toiletries in the bathroom. 

Eliott had chosen for a quite luxurious hotel, the money from his last art sale allowing him to do so. The room has a huge bed with cream coloured covers and two fluffy pillows. He grabs the chocolate off of one of them and chews on it while inspecting the rest of the room.

There is a nice sitting area with a huge television behind a divider and a small kitchenette with a coffee machine. Eliott could definitely comfortably stay here for a while. For now he plans to stay for a week to get the exhibition set up and be there for the grand opening, but he’s keeping his hopes up to stay longer to hang out with Lucas.

 _If he forgives me._

The room has a mini-bar. Idriss will probably kill him when he sees the bill, but Eliott couldn't care less. He takes out a mini bottle of rum and opens it up, downing it one go. 

The small vodka bottle looks pretty alluring to him as well, so he takes that one and drinks it too. 

Feeling a little bit better than before, Eliott grabs an outfit for the evening and takes a nice long shower before heading out, his signature leather jacket hanging on his arm when he walks towards the elevator. 

He should have some dinner at the hotel restaurant before going out for drinks. Eliott would give anything to meet up with some old friends, but they’re all still friends with Lucas and all of them had sided with him when they had their falling out all those years ago. 

Eliott can’t blame them for it, but he misses hanging out with them as well, not just Lucas. He thinks back to that first time that he had sat at their table, suddenly feeling the confidence only a hormonal teenage can feel.

Maybe after the meeting on Sunday they will make fix everything and it can all go back to normal. Eliott can only hope. 

“Hello sir, can I get you a table? Are you still waiting for someone or can I get you a single table?” The waitress’ voice pulls him out of his thoughts. “My manager is on his way, so a table for two please.” She winks at him before leading him towards a small table at the window. 

Eliott orders a glass of wine while he waits for Idriss. He left a couple hours after Eliott and should arrive at the hotel any minute now. He scans the menu and decides on a chicken salad. 

Idriss joins him a couple of minutes later, completely out of breath. “Did you run over here or something?” Idriss grins at him before sitting in the seat opposite of him. “Decided to take the stairs to stay in shape, but I am very much regretting that decision now.” 

Eliott chuckles before handing him a menu. “I’ve already decided. Choose anything you want, my treat.”

“I will definitely order the most expensive thing on the menu then.” Idriss smirks at Eliott. “Anything for you my sweet and beautiful manager.” Idriss sends him a disapproving look.

********************************************************************************************************************

“That steak was worth every penny.” Idriss theatrically rubs his stomach. “I’m glad to hear that.” Eliott chuckles before motioning for their waitress to bring over their check. 

“I presume you want to go out for a drink or two now?” Idriss questions while Eliott pays for their food. 

Eliott smiles at his friend. “You know me too well. I saw this little bar two blocks away. Maybe we can go there for an hour before heading to bed?” Idriss nods. 

Because Idriss doesn’t drink, he is the perfect drinking buddy for Eliott. He is always sober enough to keep him in check and prevent him from doing something he might regret later on and he also gets him home safe each time.

“I can’t make it too late, meeting my family tomorrow. You know how Imane gets when I don’t focus on all of her stories.” 

Eliott hasn’t seen Imane in a couple of years, but he nods anyways and offers Idriss a smile. 

The walk through Paris feels like just old times, when they used to sneak out together to get in all kinds of trouble with Sofiane. The memories give him a warm feeling inside.

“Here it is, looks cute right? And just a five minute walk back. You won’t have to carry me ten blocks.” Eliott winks at his friend, who shakes his head with a smile on his face. 

Just as Eliott’s hand lingers above the doorknob, a strange feeling overwhelms him. His breath hitches in his throat and he suddenly feels his heart beat in his chest, like a nervous feeling, but way worse. 

He’s sure this is what it would feel like to have a heart attack. A panicky feeling overcomes him and he steps away from the door.

Idriss is staring at him, wide-eyed. “Eliott, you okay man?” He nods. “Yeah, I guess, just not feeling well all of the sudden.” 

Idriss reaches out to him and looks him in the eyes. “You took your meds right?” 

“Yes, ever since I know about Sunday I have taken them. I don’t think it’s the meds, it’s something else, but I'm not sure what. I did already have two or three drinks, maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me I have had enough.” 

Idriss lets go of him, but keeps looking at him with furrowed brows. 

“Want to go back to the hotel then?” He relaxes his face and smiles warmly. “Yes, please. I think I need sleep.” 

As they walk away from the bar and back towards the hotel, the feeling fades. 

_That was really fucking strange._

**Lucas**

Saturday morning, Lucas awakens from a nice long sleep, feeling refreshed and ready to face the day. 

He didn’t have that much to drink the previous day, not wanting to wreck his chance at making a good impression on his date.

Lucas decides to go for a combination of a casual and formal outfit. A nice cream coloured dress shirt with black jeans. After checking his appearance in the mirror for the fifth time and fidgeting with his hair enough to make him look more like a hedgehog than a human, he decides it’s time to go. 

The coffee shop Noah had chosen was only a walking distance away from both of their places. It’s convenient but it also makes Lucas nervous. He doesn’t know what Noah expects of him and Lucas isn’t really ready to commit, either emotionally or physically.

_Why have I even agreed to this date if I’m not able to actually date someone?_

He keeps walking. It’s too late to back out now, he should just see what happens on the date. He can’t let his heart be destroyed forever, just because of one boy. He was just a stupid teenager back then, making stupid decisions and putting his trust in the wrong place, in the wrong person. Why should that still affect him? 

Eliott had most likely moved on years ago already. It’s sad that Lucas is still so emotionally invested in a relationship that ended so long ago. 

_Get over yourself and enjoy yourself. See what happens._ He repeats it like a mantra on his short walk. 

Rounding the corner to the coffee shop, Lucas’ nerves become worse. With a beating heart, he reaches out to open the door, when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns around and is met with warm brown eyes. 

“Hey Lucas, we have perfect timing, must be meant to be.” Noah giggles, but Lucas just freezes. 

_Meant to be._ Words he had heard earlier, filled hs whole heart, until they suddenly meant nothing, ripping his heart from his chest.

“Are you okay? Nervous?” Noah looks at him with a warm smile, hand still resting on Lucas’ shoulder.

Lucas has been silent for a while now, staring off into the distance. “Yeah, very much.” He smiles at Noah, hoping that it looks at least half convincing. “Don’t worry too much, Lucas, it’s just coffee.” 

_Just coffee, he said it himself. I need to calm down._

Noah lets his hand slide down his arm and into Lucas’ hand, holding it tightly and pulling him into the café. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to Lucas. He hasn’t felt it in a while, not counting that one time his little nephew held his hand, it had been six years ago that someone had held his hand like this. 

He feels his heart flutter. It would be great to walk through Paris like this, holding hands with someone he likes and showing him off. Lucas smiles at Noah when they get in line and holds on to him.

They both order a coffee and some chocolate cake, only letting go of each other when they have to pay and take their order. 

Noah chooses a spot at a table on the terrace under a huge parasol. The much needed shade in combination with the cool breeze cools Lucas’ overheated skin. He isn’t sure if he’s feeling so warm because it is the end of June or because of the nerves.

Lucas looks at Noah, who is silently stirring his coffee. He hopes that they will actually have something in common and that there will be no uncomfortable silences. 

Noah seems to be very good at reading the room, because he reaches across the table and takes Lucas’ hand in his own again, slowly swiping his thumb across the skin. 

“Have you always lived in Paris?” Lucas is grateful for Noah. He himself is a nervous mess, but Noah is calm and soothing. His voice is friendly and he smiles while still holding on to Lucas’ hand. 

“Yes. First with my parents, then with roommates and now finally alone.” Noah chuckles. “The good bachelor life, I see.” Lucas smiles. “What about you?” 

“I moved here from the countryside to become a model, but it’s harder than I thought. So I’m working at the bakery to pay for rent, photoshoots and clothes.” 

_A model. Another one of these pretty boys._ Lucas sure has a type. 

“Wow, a model. I didn't expect that.” Noah puts on a dramatic offended face. “Are you saying I’m not pretty enough?” Lucas laughs and shakes his head. “No, not saying that, Noah, you are _extremely_ pretty, it’s just not the first thing I thought of.”

“Not even when you are staring at me when I’m working behind the counter?” Lucas feels the heat creep up from his neck to his cheeks and he suddenly feels warm and clammy, trying to pull his hand back from Noah’s grip. ”It’s okay Lucas, it’s why I asked you out. How else should I have known that you are in to me?”

The heat doesn’t leave his body, it only gets worse. “I… Uh… I didn’t mean to be a creep.” Noah just laughs at that, now blushing slightly as well. “I was very flattered Lucas. Mostly it’s just girls that try to get my attention, so it was very nice for a change.” 

How is Noah making him feel so comfortable? So normal? Even though Lucas is an emotional mess, Noah makes him feel like it’s all okay. 

“Okay, so, I’ve told you before that I haven’t really dated, right?” Noah nods. “Well, I had my first relationship at seventeen. I was sure he was the love of my life. I gave him my all, trusted him with everything and then he broke my heart. We never really discussed what happened because he left right after. I was never able to trust anyone again.” 

“Wow, okay.” Noah stays silent after that. “I know it’s a lot to dump on you on a first date, but I just want you to know what you are getting yourself in to. Commitment is hard for me, but I’m also not the one night stand type. So I’m quite hard to date I guess.” Lucas sighs.

“I’m sorry that that happened to you, Lucas. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that, but that one guy isn’t worth you never finding happiness ever again. You’re twenty five now right?” Lucas nods. “So it’s been six years and you have never dated anyone ever again?” Lucas shakes his head. “You’re my first date ever since then.” 

Noah smiles at him warmly, a sparkle in his eyes. “I’m glad that you said yes, I didn’t know it was such a big deal for you. We will take it at your pace and see where it goes, okay?” 

“That would be great, thank you.” He smiles at Noah, appreciative of his kindness. “I’ll let go of you now, so you can enjoy your coffee and cake.” Lucas giggles and takes a sip, his eyes never leaving Noah’s. 

They fall into a comfortable chatter, talking about life, work and their delicious cake. Lucas can’t help but feel content. Noah is very nice and handsome. He could be a great asset to his life.

“You know how I told you I lived with roommates right?” Noah nods. “Well, one of my ex-roommates, Mika, he works in fashion. Maybe I can link you up with him, offer you a chance to model for him?” 

Noah’s eyes sparkle and he smiles wide. “That would be really cool, Lucas, thanks!”

Their plates and cups have been empty for a while, but they’re still comfortably chatting when Noah suddenly gets up. 

“Want to go for a little walk? We could use some exercise after that cake and I’m pretty sure the waitress wants us out of here. We’ve been sitting here for over an hour.” 

“An hour? Time really does go by fast when you are having fun.” He winks at Noah.

“I know this great little park we could go to, sit in the sun for a little while?” Lucas giggles. “I thought you wanted to get some exercise, not sit some more.” 

“Cheeky, I like it. It’s quite a hike from here, so we’ll be good.” He smiles warmly and reaches out his hand again. Lucas gleefully takes it before they walk down the streets of Paris together, Noah leading the way.

They pass a small antique shop, making Noah shriek. “I love this shop! Let’s go in.” Lucas reluctantly lets go of his hand. “I’ll wait for you outside, these shops give me the creeps.” Noah giggles and hugs Lucas tightly.

“You’re cute.” He smiles at Lucas and boops his nose. Something comes over Lucas and he reaches up, placing his hand on Noah’s cheek. “I really want to kiss you, would that be okay?” Noah’s smile widens. “Definitely more than okay.” 

Their lips meet in a soft and sweet kiss. Lucas enjoys it, just like he enjoyed other kisses from strangers on the dancefloor, but it doesn’t really make his world stop turning. 

Noah pulls back and looks at Lucas. He seems to be thinking about something, but Lucas can’t really read his face. Noah softly kisses him once more on the lips before letting go of him. “I'll be back in a sec.” He smiles at Lucas before heading into the shop.

Lucas decides to kill the time by looking through his work emails. He’s just about to type out a quick reply when that same feeling that he felt at the bar slowly starts to creep up his body. He looks around, not sure what he is looking for, when he hears the door of the shop open.

Noah comes out and hugs him tightly. “Missed you.” He giggles and kisses him again. Lucas loops his arms around Noah’s neck, before slipping his tongue into his mouth with a sudden feeling of confidence. 

He is chasing the feeling that his body just felt, but he can’t seem to get it out of this kiss. 

**Eliott**

That hair. It couldn’t be anyone else. Even after all these years of not seeing him in real life, Eliott is sure that it’s him. Lucas. The same feeling he felt the night before at the bar overcomes him. Now he is sure that it’s somehow connected to that boy, to Lucas. 

He is standing a couple of metres in front of him, leaning against the wall of an antique store, looking at something on his phone. He wants to walk up to him, wants to envelop him in his arms, tell him he is sorry and that he didn’t mean to hurt him. But he can’t. He isn’t even sure what he is supposed to do at the gallery meeting.

What is Lucas even doing there? He hates antique shops, something about ghosts and haunted objects.

Just as Eliott is about to turn around to meet Idriss, he sees someone leaving the shop and walking up to Lucas. Blonde curls and a handsome face come close to Lucas’. The other boy reaches down and hugs Lucas, before kissing him.

Eliott’s heart sinks and his stomach twists, making him feel sick. 

What did he expect? That Lucas would have waited for him for six years? That he wouldn’t have found someone new? A boy like Lucas deserves to be with someone and Eliott should be happy for him, but he can’t be. 

He was still secretly hoping to make it up to Lucas. Surprise him at the meeting and tell him everything he couldn't all those years ago. Make everything okay again, get him back in his life. 

It feels like Eliott is looking at a car accident, he can’t seem to look away as Lucas reaches his arms around the other boy’s neck, deepening the kiss. Strong chiseled arms wrap around Lucas even tighter, almost lifting him of his feet. 

Eliott would give up everything he owns to be in the place of that boy. He can’t look anymore, he has to leave before he does something stupid.

He turns around and doesn’t look back. 

**Lucas**

After Noah and Lucas had arrived at the park and sat in the grass for two more hours, they had gone their separate ways. Noah had respected his wish to go home alone that evening, which Lucas had been very thankful for. 

He likes Noah, but he isn’t ready for more than coffee and kisses.

This Sunday is the day. Lucas is meeting Otelli.

Lucas tried hard to look good for the meeting, trying to impress his favourite artist. He chose a grey button down and dark skinny jeans, professional, but still casual enough. 

He had also taken way longer than he would like to admit to get his hair _just right._

Grabbing his things, Lucas walks out the door with a falsely confidence strut, a nervous wreck on the inside. 

The meeting with Otelli had been planned before the gallery opens, so they can speak in private without the interference of people walking in and out or asking questions.

He unlocks the door and places his things in the office when the phone rings. Lucas walks over and hears the voice of Otelli’s manager on the other end. “Hey Lucas, I’m about to drop him off, glad to hear that you are already there.” The voice had sounded familiar, but it was hard to determine over the phone. 

_Him._ Lucas hadn’t known for sure, The subjects of the paintings didn’t give away much about Otelli’s identity, but now Lucas at least knew that it was a man. 

With his curiosity peaked, he walks out of the office when he hears the front door of the gallery open. 

Lucas freezes on the spot. That same feeling he felt several times this week overcomes him. He feels nauseous and warm and his heart feels like it’s going to explode. 

Smiling blue eyes stare at him. Why doesn’t he seem to be surprised? Why is he smiling? 

_Why the fuck is Eliott smiling at me? What is he doing here?_

Eliott takes a few small steps towards Lucas, making Lucas move backwards. 

He looks really good. Even better than when they were younger. His hair is even messier and a little longer. One of his ears is pierced, a small golden hoop peeking out from under his brown locks. 

After six years he is standing in front of him. The first two years after their relationship had ended, Lucas had checked in on Eliott’s social media from time to time, but after that he had purposely avoided him. 

Six years later and he is just standing there. Looking like a model with his ripped skinny jeans and showing off his muscular arms with a grey tank top. 

His face is just as beautiful as it used to be, especially when he is smiling. Too beautiful for this world.

Lucas might have drooled at the sight if he wasn’t still so angry and sad about Eliott. His feelings are all over the place. He wants to punch him in the face and hug him at the same time.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

“Hey Lucas, it’s good to see you.” Eliott steps closer to him, a smile still on his face. 

When Lucas steps back, his back hits a wall. 

_It’s good to see you? It’s good to see me? Good? After everything that he did, this is how he starts? Where is my sorry for cheating on you? Sorry for abandoning you without ever explaining why you did that to me? Sorry I broke your heart?_

“No, it can’t be you. You ruined my fucking life. I can’t do this, I can’t see you. I -” Lucas feels the tears well up in his eyes and his words come out choked.

Eliott reaches out an arm to him, but seems to rethink his decision and pulls back. 

“I’m sorry for what I did back then Lulu, I can explain it all if you let me, just give me a chance please.” 

_Lulu._ The pet name that used to give him so much joy now only makes him sad. It feels like a stab right into his heart. He can’t stop the tears running down his face now. 

“Explain? Explain what? That you cheated on me after I gave you everything? I trusted you with my life Eliott. You always said we belong together, that we were _soulmates_ and then you went out and cheated on me. You broke my heart Eliott, I loved you.” 

**Eliott**

_I loved you._

_Loved._ Past tense. The words resonate in Eliott’s brain. He pictures the letters forming the word, a capital D on the end. 

He swallows, trying to hold back his own tears, but seeing Lucas like that, breaking down at the sight of him after all these years, and hearing the stream of words that came out of Lucas’ mouth, he can’t. 

“I’m not... Even sure if I will be able to… To work with you Eliott.” He says the words in between sobs, arms hugging himself, body slacked against the wall. “I’ll ask… Ask Arthur to take over. I just can’t.” 

Lucas looks so small. Eliott wants to reach out, wants to hold Lucas in his arms and kiss him, but he can’t. Of course Lucas doesn’t want him. Eliott broke his heart and now he moved one with the blonde boy. 

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ He should not have come here. He should have declined the invitation, made something up about other plans, another exhibition or whatever. The problem is that he made the decision with his heart, he had ignored the feeling in his gut and his thoughts on purpose.

“Can we go somewhere so I can explain?”

Lucas starts sobbing even more. He sits down on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees. 

“Please Eliott, just go. I need a minute.” 

Eliott doesn’t want to go. He doesn’t want to leave Lucas like this. The scene in front of him resembling how he left Lucas six years ago as well. 

He has to leave Lucas for now, giving him the time to let everything sink in and maybe change his mind. Eliott really hopes that he will. At least he could maybe be forgiven by Lucas. 

“I’m really sorry Lu. You have my number, if you want to talk.”

Lucas doesn’t look up, but he nods slightly. Eliott turns around and leaves Lucas behind.

_Again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... much.... angst.
> 
> Let me know if there are any grammatical errors or typos's in the story


	4. Monday April 7th 2014

**Eliott**

He feels the boy’s eyes on him before he sees him, spotting him across the school yard when he looks up from his phone. The boy quickly looks away. 

He’s with the same group of guys as usual, but this time they’re joined by some girls. A pink haired girl stares at Eliott with a slight smile, glancing all over him, while the boy is telling some story to his friends. 

The boy is very theatral about it, moving his arms around his body while talking and laughing. His hair keeps flopping up and down with every movement.  _ Adorable. _

After checking the time on his phone, Eliott realizes he should go to his first class, art. He turns around, glancing back one more time, catching the boy’s eyes. He holds his gaze for a few seconds, until the other boy looks away again. 

Eliott walks through the door of his class with a smile on his face. The teacher, Madame Durand, looks at him with furrowed brows, but knows not to inquire and just leave him be. 

He does catch her glancing at him from time to time, but she lets him work in peace at his usual spot in the back corner of the art room. He has his easel propped up on a table and his paints scattered all around him. 

While he is sketching his drawing onto his canvas, he is barely aware of his surroundings. There are some girls chatting while drawing and someone put on some music, but Eliott is fully focused on his artwork. 

He barely even registers the teacher standing behind him, examining his work. He is busy mixing all his different shades of blue paint to get the right colour. It keeps turning out either too dark or too light.

How is he supposed to get that specific shade of blue? It feels like an ocean he could drown in every time he looks into the boy’s eyes. How is he supposed to replicate that amazing feeling with paint? 

He sighs in frustration and puts down his brush and palette, only then noticing Madame Durand. 

“Must be a special someone to get you this worked up.” She offers him a warm smile while nodding at the sketched eyes on the canvas. “He sure is. I hope I can let him know one day.” 

“Sometimes it’s hard to trust someone like that and let them know how you feel. Are you afraid that he doesn’t share your feelings?” 

Eliott really likes his teacher. Her curly orange hair and bohemian style chains and dresses are always flowing around her. A typical art teacher with a heart of gold, who is somehow always aware of Eliott’s feelings and how to handle him.

“I’m not sure. I’m mostly just really afraid to hurt him. He wouldn’t deserve that.” 

For some reason, he always bares his heart out to her. She seems to always know what questions to ask him to help him get out of his feelings and into his artistic process. 

“Eliott, I don’t know you well enough yet, but from what I have seen during our time together in class, you are a very sensitive boy with a lot of love to give. I’m sure that, if he feels the same, you could make this boy very happy.” 

Eliott just nods, suddenly feeling shy about his oversharing. 

Madame Durand puts a hand on his shoulder and gently squeezes before leaving him to his painting and walking over to a group of girls who are all working on their on their pieces.

The assignment for the week is to show emotion through colour. After Madame Durand told them to think about a subject for their artwork on Friday, Eliott had been thinking about it all weekend. 

When he looked into the boy’s eyes at the party he knew. He knew what the assignment had meant and what he was going to paint. 

Eliott picks his palette up and starts mixing the shades of blue again.

When he finally gets the colour right, he happily starts to paint the irises. Satisfied with the result, he paints the rest of the eyes and some skin, while waiting for the blue paint to dry. 

Dark lashes surround the eyes. He also draws some eyebrows above the eyes. He dots the pupils on top of the blue when the paint is finally dry. 

He stands back to appreciate the colours of his work. The eyes look lifelike, almost as beautiful as the boys’ eyes. 

“You finished this week’s assignment on Monday already?” Madame Durand asks him, almost giggling. 

Eliott shrugs. “Might make it into a series. Add some more paintings to the collection.” He chirps. “That would be nice, Eliott. What is this work called?”

“I’m not sure yet, I still have to figure that out.” She smiles at him and leaves him to gather his things.

He puts the painting on the assigned drying spot and walks out of the classroom. He has French literature class next and then lunch. 

Eliott already has a plan for his lunch break; finding out the title of his artwork.

**Lucas**

Eliott is on the other side of the school yard, leaning against the wall and staring off into the distance. Lucas is absolutely certain that he is the most beautiful creature in the world. His features are out of this.

He would do anything to have him as his boyfriend, but Lucas isn’t even sure if Eliott is into guys. 

Then there’s also the problem that he doesn’t have the balls to actually go up to him and talk to him, so getting to know him would be quite tricky.

He hears his friends talk, but it’s just blurry background noise. Ever since the first time he saw Eliott, he has been the centre of his universe. Whenever he sees him, he is the only thing he can focus on, everything surrounding him just disappears. 

Lucas should really grow a pair and just walk up to him. Casually introduce himself and ask him how he is doing. Ask him if he needs any help finding his classes or whatever. Maybe drop a hint that he would very much enjoy hanging out with him. 

Eliott chooses that exact moment to look over at him. Lucas instantly looks away. 

_ Nevermind, fuck that plan. _

Deciding to take his focus away from Eliott and back to his friends, he looks at Yann, who has a weird look on his face. “Just bac stress, no worries dude.” Yann is being weird, but this is not the place and time to deal with him. 

_ Act normal, Lucas, act normal. _

“Fuck the bac! They’re all up our asses about stupid exams! When will we ever use all this information ever again?” Alexia chuckles and Emma nods. 

“Maybe I want to be game-show host, I’ll need all the information I can get.” Basile chirps. Daphné shoves him gently before laughing. 

Lucas glances at Eliott, who is now looking at his phone. After sliding the phone into his jacket pocket, he turns around, looking at Lucas. 

His breath is stuck in his throat. Eliott has a very intense look in his eyes. Lucas can’t really place it, but it’s too much. He looks down at the ground. When he looks up again, Eliott is gone. 

A slap on the back of his head snaps him out of his thoughts and back to reality. “Lucas! Hello?” Imane looks at him with furrowed brows. “We have to get to class, stupid.” 

The group is already heading off in different directions, leaving only Alexia and Imane behind with Lucas. Imane scoffs and turns around, walking away from them. 

Lucas would be offended if this isn’t behaviour that he is used to from her.

“Come on, Lu.” Alexia loops her arm into Lucas’ and drags him to Biology class. They take their seats in the back off the class and drop their bags on the ground after putting their stuff on the desks.

The teacher is explaining something while drawing some diagram on the whiteboard. 

Lucas isn’t even sure what the topic of the current class is. He scribbles some small drawings in his notebook instead of paying attention, his thoughts keep being pulled back to Eliott. 

Eliott, who was just standing there, looking at him, staring into his soul. 

“What’s on your mind, Lu?” 

_ Eliott staring into my soul. What is that about? Do you think he is into me?  _

Thankfully he doesn’t have to answer the question when Alexia’s phone buzzes. She unlocks it, with Lucas looking over her shoulder. She quickly locks it again when Lucas sees something that looks like a half naked girl. “Who is that?” 

“Why are you looking at my phone, you perv?” She laughs while saying it, letting Lucas know she’s not all too serious. “Sorry, just bored.” He shrugs.

“That is my girlfriend, Camille.” She has a wide smile on her face. 

_ Girlfriend?  _

Lucas cocks his head to the side. “I thought… Well I just assumed you were into guys. You’ve had a couple of boyfriends right?” Alexia nods. “Since when… When did you know?” Alexia giggles. 

“I guess I’ve always known. She is just the first girl I’ve actually liked  _ that  _ way.” The way she smiles when she says this, makes him smile as well. “I’m happy for you, Lex, from what I have seen, she looks very pretty.” 

“You pervert.” 

They giggle until the teacher tells them to quieten down. 

Maybe he could tell her about the part of himself that he hides from everyone. She would understand and maybe she could help him figure out his feelings and figure out if Eliott could be into him or not.

Lucas decides to focus on the rest of the class, wanting to eventually pass his exams.  __

**Eliott**

French Literature goes by painstakingly slow. Eliott is only half listening to whatever the teacher is blabbing about. 

Eliott is doodling parts of the boy. His hands, his legs, his mouth.  _ Those plump lips. _

Maybe that should be his next artwork. Complete the whole boy, piece by piece.

He tries to get into the text they are supposed to read for the last fifteen minutes of class, but the words are just a black blur on the page. 

_ I really need to talk to this boy and either get him as a friend or even my boyfriend, or if he is not interested, I could try to get him out of my mind.  _

Somehow the class comes to an end. Eliott slings his bag over his shoulder and walks towards the cafeteria, grabbing some food and walking into the sitting area.

The boy’s friends are sitting at their usual table. Eliott notices that the boy isn’t there yet. The girls that he saw hanging out with the group aren’t sitting at the table either.

_ Well, I should start making contact somehow, right? _

With a sudden surge of confidence he walks up to the friend group. “Hi, I’m Eliott. Would you mind if I join you guys for lunch?” 

The curly haired boy just stares at him with a shocked expression in his face. “I don’t really have any friends, quite new around here.” Eliott ads with a nervous smile. 

The boy who was just staring at him almost jumps in front of Eliott, extending a slightly sweaty hand, which Eliott takes. “Hi Eliott, we know who you are. I’m Basile, but you can call me Baz.” His smile almost reaches from ear to ear. 

“Nice to meet you Baz.” He returns the smile. “That is Yann and that is Arthur.” Basile introduces them, before they get the chance to do so themselves. He nods at them when they both give him a small wave.

“You are welcome to sit with us. The more the merrier.” The boy with the glasses, Arthur, says with a smile. Eliott reciprocates the smile and sits down next to him, opposite Yann and Basile. 

Yann stays quiet and stares at Eliott.  _ Is that a glare or is that just his regular face?  _ He shrugs off the uneasy feeling and turns towards Basile.

“Isn’t there a fourth one that I always see you with? The one with the wild hair?” 

_ And the beautiful ocean blue eyes and plump pink lips and that tiny body that I could pick up and throw against a wall, while I would…  _

“Yeah, Lucas! I have no clue where he is. He was supposed to meet us here for lunch. He eats with us everyday, we’re kind of like a gang.” Basile says with a mouth full of carrot. 

_ Lucas. Lucas. Lucas.  _ He keeps repeating it in his head, finally having a name to put to the face that has been haunting all his dreams. Lucas, it fits him well. 

He now has a name for his artwork. 

“Right?” Basile gives him an expectant look. “I’m sorry, what? I was stuck in my thoughts.” 

What was that weird look Yann gave him again? 

“I asked if it’s true that you just transferred here.” Eliott nods. “Yeah, I did.” Basile cocks his head. 

“Bit weird to do that halfway through a school year, isn’t it?” Yann doesn’t sound very friendly while asking the question, but maybe that’s just what he sounds like. Eliott isn’t sure. 

“My previous school didn’t have a good arts program, this school has a way better one, so I transferred before graduating.” They nod, but Yann is still looks at him with that weird look. 

It’s a half truth, better than a lie. He hasn't committed a felony, or better said, he hasn’t been caught for one. He also hadn’t been admitted into a mental hospital or whatever else the students had been whispering about them, he just had a hard time at the other school, but that’s a story for another time. 

“Also I failed my bac last year, so I’m retaking all the classes, which is quite boring. I’m glad the art classes are good at least.” 

Basile is staring at him. “Why did you fail them?” He gets shoved on the shoulder by Arthur, making Eliott laugh.

“It’s okay, I just didn’t show up.” The answer makes Arthur and Basile giggle, but Yann stays silent.

“Is Madame Durand giving you a hard time?” Arthur grins. 

“No, she’s actually pretty sweet and supportive. Best art teacher I’ve ever had.” He smiles. “That’s good then. We have English together right?” Eliott nods. “Cool, we can sit together if you want to. The guy I’m sitting next to sucks anyway.”

“That would be cool, Arthur, thanks.” He gives the other guy a warm smile.

Eliott is happy that they, except for Yann maybe, accepted him into the group so quickly and easily. They are a nice bunch of boys and Eliott is pretty sure he could become good friends with them.

A few minutes later Daphné, Imane and Emma join the table as well, introducing themselves one after the other. They are just as nice to Eliott as the boys are. 

Daphné seems to be just as impressed with Eliott at their table as Basile. They would make an interesting couple. 

They chat about school and their hobbies, while they all eat their lunches. 

Eliott keeps checking the entrance of the cafeteria, but Lucas doesn’t show up during the lunch break, making Eliott feel disappointed and sad.

**Lucas**

After class, Alexia excuses herself to call her girlfriend with a wide smile. “Don’t have too much.” He winks and gets rewarded with a shove before she hurries into the school yard, sitting down on the bottom of the school stairs. 

Lucas starts making his way towards the cafeteria, when he bumps into Chloe in the hallway. All kinds of expressions cross her face before she settles on angry. 

“What the actual fuck was that Friday night? You just just left me there, like an idiot.” 

Not here. Not now. To be honest, he had actually forgotten about Chloe. He hadn’t been into it, he had only used her to make Eliott jealous, not thinking clearly. The alcohol in his veins slurring not only his words, but his thoughts as well. 

“I’m sorry Chloe, it wasn't your fault. I’m just… I don’t know, just, sorry.” 

She doesn’t look any less angry at that response, if anything she looks even more angry, getting redder in her face and crossing her arms around her chest. 

“You’re just and asshole. Go to hell, Lucas.” She almost spits the words into his face.

“Look, I’m sorry. That’s all I can say. You seem like a good girl, just not the one for me.” Chloe scoffs. 

“I wasn’t asking you to marry me, just to have some fun at the party.” Lucas shrugs. 

“I wasn’t feeling well and needed to go home. I don’t really know what else to say.” He turns around and starts walking towards the cafeteria again, leaving an angry Chloe behind him.

He kind of feels bad for her, but he can’t retroactively change the situation or make it up to her somehow, so no need to worry about it anymore. 

Lucas grabs a tray and fills it up with a sandwich and a variety of fruits before walking towards the tables. He is about to walk towards his regular table when he freezes. He recognizes Eliott immediately, even with his back turned towards him. 

What is  _ he  _ doing at their table? Why are his friends laughing with him? What the actual fuck is going on? 

Lucas is getting hot, warmth spreading up from his chest to his neck and cheeks. He isn’t sure if he should go over there or just turn right around. What would he even say to Eliott? Could he even act normal around him? He probably couldn’t. 

_ Fuck this shit. _

Lucas turns around, grabs some of his food to go and dumps the rest into the nearest garbage can. 

He walks into the school yard, sitting down on a bench, trying to enjoy the sun while shoveling down some food. 

It’s a sunny day, but the air is still fairly cold, most students deciding to spend their break indoors. 

Lucas is still thinking about why Eliott could have been eating lunch with his friends when Alexia walks up to him with a small smile. 

“What you doing out here, all alone?” Lucas looks up at her and pats the spot on the bench next to him. She sits down next to him, putting her bag in her lap and her phone in her pocket. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lucas is unsure, but he nods anyway. He needs to tell someone, to get this secret off his chest. It’s been weighing down on him for years now.

How is he supposed to tell her? Should he tell her about Eliott?  _ No, that’s just weird and creepy.  _ What would she even say? What if she tells someone else? Can he even trust Alexia? 

“I can  _ hear _ you think, Lucas, what’s up? You know you can tell me anything, right?” Her face seems honest and she is softly smiling at him, letting him takes his time to tell her. “Swear you won’t tell anyone what I am about to tell you?” She nods and holds up her pinky finger in front of Lucas. He links his own with hers. “Pinky swear.” 

Lucas’ heart is beating in his chest. It will be the first time ever that he will say the words out loud. He has practiced the words in his head, thinking out every possible scenario that would happen afterwards. 

His religious mother would definitely not approve, send him Bible quotes every five seconds. Except for Alexia, Lucas isn’t sure how his friends will respond. What if they won’t want to hang out with him anymore after he tells them? Would the other people at the school bully him or won’t they care less?

Alexia takes his hand in her own and softly squeezes. “It’s okay Lucas. You can tell me anything and I will try to help you, okay?” 

_ I should just tell her. Get the words out.  _

“I think I might be gay.” Lucas blurts out. First time he has said it out loud. He thought it would feel weird to have it out there, but it actually feels like a weight off his shoulders. 

He exhales deeply and looks up from his feet and into her eyes. She gives him a warm smile before pulling him into a hug. “Thank you for telling me, Lucas. Do you feel better now?” Lucas nods into her shoulder and he starts choking up.

“This is absolutely not a reason to cry, Lucas. This is exciting! I won’t try to set you up with any more girls from now on.” Lucas giggles.

“Only boys from now on?” Alexia nods and smiles. “Yes, I will get on it asap. I’m sure I could get the perfect guy for you. Is there anything you like?”

_ Eliott.  _ “Maybe. I don’t know yet.” 

“That’s okay. Are you planning on telling the rest of the group?” 

“Yes, eventually. But I’m not sure of their response.” Lucas admits. 

“Whenever you are ready Lu, but I’m sure they will accept you just the way you are. The girls would even be thrilled. You can help us with boy trouble and choosing outfits.” 

Lucas laughs, loudly. He can’t imagine helping Emma with boy trouble, but he will do his very best. “Sounds like a good time. I might tell them in a couple of days. Need to let it sink in a bit first.”

“That’s alright, tell me if you want me there when you tell them, okay?” 

“Yes, thank you for everything Lex.” 

“No problem at all Lu, I’m glad that you told me. You can always talk to me, okay?” He nods. Let's head inside now though, we have class in a bit.” She chirps. 

Alexia hooks her arm in Lucas’ and they walk to class together like that. Her positive response and jokes makes Lucas feels happy and bubbly, like he could conquer the world.

Lucas keeps looking over at her with a smile on his face. He couldn’t have wished for a better friend than her.

**Eliott**

“Can I get your number? Maybe we can chill sometimes and you can teach me how to get a girlfriend.” Basile is staring at him with a hopeful grin on his face. Arthur slaps him on the back of his head in response, making Eliott giggle. 

“Leave Eliott alone. I’m sure he has better things to do, like going home for example.”

Arthur and Eliott had left the English class together and were met by Basile and Imane in the school yard.

“Give me your phone, I will put my number in there. I’m not quite sure how to help with the girl part, but I will do my best to assist.” He smirks at Basile while taking his phone.

“There you go.” 

The rest of the group walks up to them. Lucas is deeply invested in his phone, not noticing Eliott standing there with his friends.

When he comes to a standstill and finally looks up, he is right in front of Eliott, his expression somewhere between shocked and excited. 

Eliott reaches out his hand for Lucas to take.

“Hey, you’re Lucas, right? I’m Eliott. It’s nice to meet you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 will take me a little longer so please have patience <3


	5. Saturday June 27th - Sunday June 28th 2020

**Lucas**

It has been almost a week since Lucas has seen Eliott. He had been actively avoiding him at the gallery, staying in the back office as much as possible when he was around. Arthur had handled all the work with Eliott, while Lucas had worked on other projects. 

The exhibition was to be opened tonight, with a formal party. A party Lucas couldn’t avoid. It’s part of his job to be out there to entertain the guests and make some sales.

His boss is already getting suspicious of his behaviour and Lucas can't risk losing his job, so he needs to man up and face Eliott today, be professional and not let his feelings get in the way.

Lucas still feels betrayed that his favourite artist turned out to be someone he hated so much. How could someone that had so blatantly ripped his heart out of his chest make such beautiful art pieces about love and friendship? 

He’s also feeling angry with Imane. She had known about Eliott all these years through her brother Idriss, but she chose not to tell Lucas because ‘ _ You had just moved on and started forgetting about him, I didn’t want to rip open old wounds.’  _

Everyone had handled him with kid gloves after their break-up. Tactfully avoiding his name or mentioning anything about him, like if someone had whispered  _ Eliott _ he would spontaneously combust or just die on the spot.

Lucas knows his friends had meant well, trying not to hurt him any more than he already had been, but it might have been a better idea if someone would have talked to Lucas about everything and let him share his feelings.

He decides to put his thoughts aside for now and focus on the exhibition party later that evening. After putting on the one fancy suit he owns for occasions like this, he takes his stuff and makes his way towards the gallery. 

The temperature is significantly lower than during the day. The cool evening air does Lucas good. Just as he arrives in front of the gallery, his phone buzzes. 

_ Hey Lucas, I am almost on my way. Made some lasagna, can I bring you some? I know you always forget to eat ;) - Noah _

Lucas smiles at his phone. No one had been this caring of him in years. 

_ Noah, you’re my lifesaver. Please take some, I haven’t eaten anything all day. - Lucas _

He puts his phone away and walks into his workplace. The interns are already working hard on getting the place in order; helping the caterers put everything in the right place and decorating the cocktail tables. 

“Looking good guys!” Lucas gives them a thumbs up and a wide smile before disappearing into the back office. 

Arthur grins at him when he walks in. “It’s going to be okay Lucas, it’s probably the last day you’ll have to be around him. After that you can focus on Noah again, marry him and have his babies.” 

The way Arthur says it so dryly makes Lucas burst out in laughter. It might also be the nerves about the night.

“Thanks for that mental image, Arthur.” Lucas scoffs before grabbing some promotional flyers from his desk.

“No problem. We can always use some humour before a night like this. It’s almost time for us to be out there and smile at the rich people all night, make some money for the big boss.” Lucas nods. He also dislikes these formal events where the richest people of Paris come in to look at the pieces and throw their money around, while getting drunk on cocktails and wine. 

Lucas gets that same sickly feeling he has gotten multiple times the past few days, but decides to soldier through. He needs to keep his job and other shit like that.

“Well, time to face our destiny.” He winks at Arthur before opening the door and stepping into the exhibition part of the gallery. Eliott’s surprised face looks back at him. Apparently he had been standing just outside the door, chatting with Lucas’ boss.

“Lallemant, why are you and Broussard in the office? I need you two out here, representing the gallery and making sales. Mister Demaury here wants to actually make some money tonight and so do I.” 

_ Mister Demaury can go fuck himself and so can you. _

“Sorry sir, just grabbing these.” He holds up the flyers. His boss nods before leaving them.

Eliott is grinning at him.  _ The fucker. _

“Lucas, can we maybe talk later tonight? Or tomorrow? You never gave me the chance to explain.” 

_ Tomorrow. So he isn’t immediately leaving. Please just go back to wherever the fuck you came from and leave me alone. _

“So, we’ve been over the asking prices for all the pieces, right?” Eliott looks dumbfounded.

“Uhm.. Yeah, I did, with Arthur.” Lucas nods. “That’s good. Well, let’s hope for a big turnout and good sales tonight. Do you like where we have hung everything? I think you have discussed that with Arthur as well right?” 

Eliott silently nods. He looks at him like a hurt animal. 

_ Fuck.  _

It’s actually affecting Lucas. 

Should he just agree? Could it actually hurt? He is acting too cold now. 

“Okay, sure, whatever. Tomorrow I guess. I have a date tonight.” 

Eliott’s face goes from happy to hurt again in a matter of seconds. 

He moves closer to him, so close that Lucas can almost feel his breath on his skin. He can smell his cologne, woody and spicy, the same that it used to be back then. Lucas’ feeling are all over the place, sparks going through his whole body and his stomach twisting in all kinds of ways. The same feeling he had when they were teenagers, when they were madly in love.

“Thank you Lu, I’m glad we can talk.” 

His lips. Lucas can’t help but stare at his lips. Eliott places a hand on Lucas’ arm and looks into his eyes. Eliott’s hand isn’t even touching his skin, and still it feels like it’s burning, like he will leave his mark on him, every individual fingertip a different shade of purple. 

They look at each other as if there’s no one around them. He almost forgets how mad he was at Eliott just a few seconds ago.  _ Almost. _

“Lasagna to the rescue!”

Noah’s voice pulls them out of their trance. Eliott pulls his hand back like it’s been burned and Lucas almost trips over his own feet when he steps back. 

The expression on Noah’s face is unreadable. He walks over to Lucas and Eliott and hands Lucas a tupperware box. 

“Hi, I’m Eliott, the artist of all this.” He points around them, with a bright smile, which Lucas would bet on being fake. 

Noah takes his hand. “Nice to meet you Eliott. Lucas is a huge fan. I’m Noah, his date.” 

“Nice to meet you Noah, I hope you will enjoy the evening.” He still has that weird smile on his face.

“You too man, I hope you’ll make a buttload of money!” Noah chirps, his smile actually genuine.

Eliott nods at him before turning around and walking towards the first few people dribbling in. Introducing himself as Otelli and shaking their hands, smiling like he didn’t just go through twenty emotions in a few minutes. 

Noah is just silently staring at Lucas, biting his lower lip.

“Are you okay, Lucas?” 

“Fine, yes, sorry. Just nervous about everything. Eliott was trying to calm me down.” 

“Mmhhmm. So, did it work?” Noah softly smiles at him.  _ Is he buying this?  _ “A little, I guess.” He smiles back before pulling Noah into a hug. 

Noah kisses him softly on the lips before pulling back. “Eat quickly now, before it gets too busy in here for you to sneak out. I’ll be on the lookout.” 

This man is amazing. He brought him food, he is kind, looks really amazing and he cares for Lucas like he is the most precious thing in the world. 

Still, his mind and eyes get pulled toward Eliott. He is walking around with a group of beautifully dressed older ladies, making them swoon over every word that leaves his lips. 

Noah follows his eyes. “Big fan, huh?” He smiles at Lucas before opening the office door and shoving him in there. “You can fangirl all you want in five minutes, but eat first.” He closes the door behind him and stays outside the door.

Lucas can’t believe it, but it makes him laugh at the same time.  _ This guy is unbelievable.  _ He can’t shake the feeling he just felt with Eliott. How did he go from hating the guy to melting at the slightest touch, staring into his eyes like they used to do, lying in bed together, ignoring the world around them.

_ No more thinking. Food and then work.  _

The lasagna is really good, Noah can definitely cook. He tries to enjoy every bite while simultaneously shoveling it down to stop his growling stomach.

After finishing the whole tub, he puts it on his desk and knocks on the door. “Fully satisfied, thank you for feeding me, Noah.” 

The door opens up, revealing Noah’s brown eyes and huge smile. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Now get out here and sell some art.”  __

This time it’s Lucas who embraces and then kisses Noah. “Thank you for taking care of me, it was very good food _. _ ”

**Eliott**

The ladies chatter on and on about his talent, asking him a lot of questions about the artwork and his personal life. The burning question, obviously, being if he is single. 

“We didn’t even know that you’d be this handsome, it’s a nice bonus.” A blonde lady with a wedding ring tells him before winking. 

Eliott can’t focus on their questions and compliments. Lucas would give him a chance to explain. Okay, he was dating someone else, so that ship had sailed, but at least he could tell him what happened and ask for his forgiveness. 

When the group of ladies finally leaves him to get some cocktails, he looks over at Lucas. He is kissing Noah.

Eliott looks away again, staring down at his hands, not being able to get rid of the stinging feeling in his chest. 

So maybe he isn’t as okay with Lucas dating someone else as he originally thought. He sighs and catches Arthur’s eyes, who is leaning against a wall, watching both Eliott and Lucas with Noah. 

He has a weird look on his face. Eliott averts his eyes and focuses on the new group of people walking inside. This time it’s a couple. 

“I might be interested to buy a piece, Otelli. My wife is a huge fan and she keeps nagging on and on about  _ needing _ one of your works in the living room.” The man’s moustache moves with every word he blurts out.

“Which piece would you be interested in?” The gallery owner practically shoves Eliott aside and takes the wife's hand. 

Eliott let’s them figure it out together. He wanders around the gallery, looking at the people around him. The turnout is great and Eliott is pretty sure he will sell almost every piece this night. The exhibition will stay for another three weeks, but this is the only night people can buy the pieces. When the exhibition is done, they get them shipped home and Eliott has to work on a new collection.

Lucas is across the room, chatting with potential customers, smiling and moving his arms around like he always does when he is telling a story. 

The boss has probably made the sale, because he has a huge smile on his face while he makes his way towards Arthur. 

Eliott is feeling alone in the crowded room. the cocktail bar is calling his name, but alcohol is not a great idea in combination with his meds, so he will try to survive the night completely sober. After ordering a virgin mojito, he sits at the bar, slowly sipping on his drink. 

Lucas is done with the customers and walks over to the bar, ordering something Eliott can’t hear from the distance between them. 

“Didn’t think you were a cocktail kind of guy.” Lucas walks over to him with a glass of cola in his hand. 

_ Why is he suddenly being so normal and nice to me? _

“It’s alcohol free, so basically juice.” Eliott replies and grins at him.

Lucas looks at him with a questioning face, but he doesn’t ask.

“Your paintings are doing great, selling fast. The rich and bored housewives are especially interested.” Lucas giggles. Eliott loves it when he laughs, it’s such a wonderful sight. 

“I can finally afford that yacht then.” He grins at Lucas, whose eyes widen before he realizes it’s a joke. 

“You’re still just as funny as you used to be.” He sticks out his tongue at Eliott before taking a sip of his drink. 

Eliott can't stop looking at him. They're so close again, talking and joking like nothing ever happened. His heart feels full and warm.

"Hey Lu, Arthur told me all kinds of stories about you." Noah walks up to them. 

"Only good ones I hope." Lucas responds.

Arthur joins them and stands next to Eliott, across Lucas and Noah. "Quite the opposite." 

They laugh. Eliott doing his best to fake it, the moment of happiness gone in an instant.

"Eliott, there's a lady asking questions about one of your works, join me?" Arthur asks.

"Sure, that's what I'm here for." Eliott finishes his drink and puts his glass on the bar, following Arthur through the gallery.

They walk into an empty corner of the gallery, no lady in sight.

"Eliott. I know you mean well, but I see the way you look at him. He's moved on. Noah is a good guy. They only started dating, but he's good for Lucas. You fucked it up and you need to leave him alone." 

_ What?  _

"I'm not trying anything, Arthur. I just want to explain to him what happened then.”

“What happened is you cheated on him. Multiple times, with multiple people. That’s just fucked up, Eliott. I respect you as an artist and I had fun working with you, but I can’t have you back in Lucas’ life just now that he is getting his shit together. It has taken him all this time to get over you and finally date someone else and now you’re suddenly back.” 

“Arthur. It’s not that simple….” 

“What is not simple? If there is more to it, you need to explain, because all we saw is you cheating and then disappearing without ever coming back.” 

Eliott just stares at him for a few moments, unsure what to do. Should he just tell Arthur the truth about what happened and why or should he just walk away? No, he can’t run this time. He needs to man up and talk. If Arthur accepts the truth and forgives him, Lucas might do it too. It also wouldn’t hurt to have more people of the friend group understanding his side of the story. 

“I had… I have bipolar disorder. I didn't know then, I was only diagnosed after everything happened. I am definitely not trying to make an excuse for what happened, but with bipolar disorder comes manic episodes and hypersexuality. It’s why I was so hyped up those last weeks and why I cheated on Lucas. It hurts me to this day, but when I got the diagnosis, everything made sense to me.”

“Shit. I mean, fuck... Why didn’t you tell us then?” 

“My parents dragged me off to the countryside and I was in a depressive episode for a couple of weeks. When I got out of it and tried to contact Lucas, he had blocked me everywhere. Yann sent me a threatening message to never come back in Lucas’ life again. It was clear that I wasn’t wanted anymore, so I decided to just stay away.”

The look Arthur has in his eyes is the reason why Eliott rather doesn’t tell people about his mental health. They always either pity him or suddenly don’t want to hang out with him anymore.

“We all took Lucas’ side without taking a moment to listen to your story. I’m sorry Eliott.” Arthur reaches out and pulls Eliott into a hug. “You were our friend too and we let you down in a time of need.”

“It’s okay, Arthur, I would’ve chosen Lucas’ side as well. I still feel shit about everything that happened. I try to take my meds now and that helps me be balanced and  _ normal _ , but I still have bad times.”

Arthur lets go of him and looks at him with a serious look on his face. “Do you want me to go talk to him? It’s shit timing with Noah and all, but maybe you can at least become friends again? That’s how you started out anyway.” 

The more he has thought about it, the less Eliott actually wants to be friends with Lucas. It would be nice to be on speaking terms, but he couldn’t hang out with him and listen to him talk about another man in his life. That would just be heartbreaking.

“It’s okay, we’re talking about it tomorrow, he is busy with his date tonight.” The sour look on his face doesn’t go unnoticed by Arthur. He gives him a sympathetic look and a pat on the shoulder. 

“Let me know how it goes okay? You have my number.” Eliott nods. He’s glad Arthur responded in such a positive way. Hopefully Lucas will be just as understanding.

“I will, thank you Arthur. Now, get back to work before Chaumont fires you.” 

Arthur nods before making his way into the crowd of people again. 

Eliott looks over to Lucas, who is talking to some guests, moving his hands around and pointing to different paintings. His eyes meet Eliott’s and he smiles.

_ That smile. I would do anything to see that smile every single day. _

He walks over to Lucas and the group, introducing himself. He gets even more compliments about the works and his techniques, but all his attention goes to Lucas, who is looking at him with a bright smile, almost like he is proud of Eliott. 

His heart is filled with that same, warm feeling. 

When the guests move on to another artwork, Eliott can’t help himself. He pulls Lucas into his arms and hugs him tightly. “I’m so glad to have you have you back in my life and that you aren’t that mad at me anymore and that you will listen to me tomorrow.”

Lucas doesn't respond to the hug instantly, but quickly melts into Eliott’s body. It’s such a familiar feeling to Eliott, he absolutely loves it. He could hold Lucas like this forever, not a care in the world and everything around them disappearing into nothing. 

**Lucas**

Lucas fits into Eliott’s arms like he belongs there. Everything seems right in that moment. 

“I will decide if I am still mad at you tomorrow.” He whispers into Eliott’s chest. 

“That’s okay Lu.” 

Lucas wants to do this for hours. He is still unsure about his feelings for Eliott, but for some reason Arthur seemed to be totally okay with Eliott suddenly, even encouraging Lucas to go talk to him. The sudden change was weird, but maybe Arthur knew more about the situation than he did. 

“Why do I get the feeling that that is the same guy that you are so heartbroken about?” Noah’s voice pulls Lucas out of his thoughts.

_ Shit. No. No. No.  _

He pulls away from Eliott and runs after Noah, who is already halfway through the gallery. “Noah, wait, it’s not what it looks like.” 

Noah doesn’t stop, he walks out of the gallery and shuts the door behind him.

Lucas follows him outside. “Noah, please wait, let me explain.” He pleads.

Noah turns around and looks at him. “So this is not that guy? You are just such a huge fan that this artist you have been working with for a week randomly touches you and hugs you and you two stare at each other like horny teenagers? Is that what you want to explain to me? BEcause if it is, please do. I’m very interested in your explanation.” 

He is standing there, arms crossed and waiting. Waiting for Lucas to tell him it’s nothing to worry about, but he can’t tell him that, because it’s not the truth.

“So he breaks your heart, you’re completely devastated and can’t commit to anyone because you’re so fucked up. But then he suddenly appears in your life and you run right back into his arms? That isn’t right Lucas and you know it as well as I do.” 

“I didn’t mean for all this to happen Noah. I didn’t know that it was Eliott when I asked him to come to the gallery. I also didn’t know that it would feel like this to see him again. I haven’t forgiven him, but my feelings are all over the place. It’s confusing.”

“Do you still love him?” 

Lucas stays quiet. He is still too unsure about everything that went down. He hasn’t given Eliott the chance to explain his part of the story yet, so he doesn’t even know if he wants him back in his life, let alone if he can still feel love for him.

“I don’t know, Noah. I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

**Eliott**

Eliott is frozen in place. Should he run after Lucas or let them have the privacy to talk? 

He sees Lucas’ boss walking towards the exit of the gallery, probably about to reprimand him. He quickly walks up to him, stopping him from leaving. “Sir Chaumont, I was wondering how many works we have sold?” He taps the man on his shoulder. 

Monsieur Chaumont turns around with an angry look on his face that softens when he sees it’s Eliott. “Sir Demaury, we have sold almost every piece! Some of them even above the asking price. Magnificent evening this is, I’ve never made so many sales.” The greed in his voice and eyes makes Eliott nauseous. 

Eliott smiles at him anyway, looking for reasons to prolong the conversation. “So, what can we do to get the ones sold that haven’t yet?” 

“I like the way you think, young man, you might just make it in this world.” He puts an arm around Eliott’s shoulder and walks with him towards a small painting in the corner. “Look, this one, it’s just too sad and dark. Maybe you should tell the story behind it to those women.” He points in the direction of some wine-drunk ladies hanging around the food table.

“Make something up for all I care, they would eat up some sappy sob story.” 

Eliott really hates this guy. Imagine working for him. He sighs and wriggles himself out of Chaumont’s grip. “Right on it, sir.” 

The women follow him to the painting, giggling like schoolgirls. 

“Ladies. This painting is still for sale. I know it’s a bit dark and sad, but that is because I was very sad when I painted this. I had messed it up with the love of my life and I just couldn’t seem to get over it. I was sad for weeks, but this painting really helped me.” 

It’s actually the truth, Eliott isn’t one to make up fake stories to sell his art, he is always true to the events that he uses for inspiration. 

A woman with black hair puts a hand on his arm.”She’s stupid to let you go.” 

“He, actually, but it was all my fault.” 

Another woman practically screams. “Oh that makes it even more interesting! A  _ gay _ painter, I love it! I want it!” 

He doesn’t correct her, just stands there and smiles before sending the group towards Arthur to finalize the sale.

Before this night Eliott didn’t really care about selling all his art. It’s a means to get by and Eliott is doing just fine, but after dealing with this idiot of a man, Chaumont, he has a new plan to spend his savings on.

**Lucas**

After a restless night, Lucas awakens at the crack of dawn. It’s still quite dark outside for a summer morning. 

His mind had endlessly been going over the events of the previous night, replaying each scene and every possible other outcome. 

He isn’t even sure if Noah and him are broken up now or not. He left right after their talk and hasn’t responded to Lucas’ texts since.

Lucas had gone back inside the gallery and excused himself to his boss, promising to make it up to him at the next event, but Monsieur Chaumont had just waved him away and continued his conversation with some businessmen. 

Arthur had called him right after he had walked out of his workplace. Lucas had explained what had happened with Noah and that he wasn’t feeling well and needed the rest. His friend had understood and promised to come by his place the next day.

He tries to fall asleep again, it’s still way too early to be awake. 

When he wakes up again, Lucas takes his phone from his nightstand and types out a quick text to Eliott. His number hasn’t changed, Idriss had given it to Arthur. Lucas still knows it by heart.

His thumb hovers over the send button for a few moments. After everything that went down and the way it felt to be in Eliott’s arms, he isn’t sure if this is the wisest decision. 

Lucas decides to listen to his heart rather than his mind and presses send. 

_ Hey Eliott. I’m ready to talk. Can I meet you at the hotel? Let me know when. Lucas _

**Eliott**

Holding Lucas had been the best feeling in the world. Eliott needs to paint his feelings onto a canvas. 

In his teens, he had drawn and painted every part of Lucas. Once he had even modeled for him. It was the best thing ever in Eliott’s opinion, but his boyfriend had disagreed. 

It would be amazing to paint him again and compare the two paintings. Lucas had probably gained some muscles, wider shoulders, a sharper jawline, even messier hair. 

_ Fuck. Am I still in love with him?  _

Eliott shakes his thoughts and takes a canvas and foldable easel out of his suitcase. Traveling here with the car had been great because Eliott was able to take a bunch of his painting supplies, for when inspiration hit.

What should he paint? 

With the brush tapping against his lower lip, Eliott stares at the blank canvas in front of him. 

There had been so many emotions the past week. It should be enough material to make a great painting with, but Eliott isn’t quite sure what he is feeling at the moment. He had been so happy holding Lucas, but then Noah walked up to them and had yanked him away from Eliott. Rightfully so, but it still hurt.

Eliott’s phone buzzes on the coffee table, snapping him back to reality. 

His heart skips a beat when Lucas’ name pops up on his phone. He reads the text over and over again. Would Lucas be ready to listen to him? Would he forgive him after all this time? Arthur had been quick to understand, but then again, it wasn’t his heart that Eliott had broken.

Trying not to seem too desperate and text back immediately, Eliott hops in the shower first, taking his time to get nice and clean and smell extra good. He scrubs and soaps until he feels refreshed. 

After quickly drying off and spraying on some of his favourite cologne he combs his hair and puts every strand neatly in place. 

With a towel wrapped around his waist, he walks out of the bathroom to get his phone. He is just about to text Lucas back when he hears a knock at the door. 

_ Weird.  _ Idriss had left two days ago. His wife went into labour and of course he had preferred being at home for the birth of his daughter rather than being at the gallery. Who else could it be?

He walks through the room towards the door, holding his towel with one hand and opening the door with the other one.

Lucas. 

Lucas is standing there, outside of his hotel room. He hadn’t even texted back yet.

“Hey, Lucas, what are you doing here?” 

He stays quiet but looks at Eliott. It makes him feel all kinds of tingles over his body. Lucas is checking him out. This might be a good sign. 

**Lucas**

_ Oh my fucking God, he’s even hotter than he used to be.  _

Lucas eyes involuntarily glide from Eliott’s face to his muscular arms and down over chiseled abs and the towel that he is holding, his long fingers wrapped around the edge of it.

_ Get it together, I’m here to talk, not jump into bed with him. _

“Hey Eliott, I was just around the corner, shopping. And you hadn’t responded yet, so I thought I’d just make my way to you and see if you’re here.” He points in the general direction of the shopping centre before meeting Eliott’s eyes again. 

“Alright, come in.” He makes way for Lucas to enter the room.

“So, no luck shopping then?” Eliott looks at Lucas’ empty hands with a small grin before closing the door behind him.

“What? Oh, yeah, no, no luck.” He feels the heat creep up his neck, Eliott had caught his lie, chuckling under his breath. 

The truth is that, after sending that text, Lucas had immediately become restless. It was his day off, so he had nothing better to do. After cleaning the same cup for the fifth time and folding all his laundry, he decided it was better to just head out and see if Eliott was in the hotel, get everything over with sooner. 

“Mind if I get dressed? I feel quite underdressed and exposed compared to you.” Eliott says, interrupting Lucas’ thoughts. 

Lucas nods and Eliott disappears behind a wooden divider.

“Take a seat if you want to. Can I offer you anything to drink?” 

He can hear Eliott shuffling around, zipping up his pants and opening and closing a drawer, but he can’t see him. 

Lucas thinks back to the first time he had seen Eliott naked, when they were teens. He was pretty sure that Eliott was a Greek God, chiseled out of white marble, brought to life by some witch who couldn’t bear not seeing him in the flesh. 

He wonders if the parts that were covered now still looked the same or of they had changed in any way. 

“Lu? A drink?” 

_ Oh whoops, fuck. _

“I’m okay, thanks. I won’t be too long.” 

Eliott appears from behind the divider. Wearing grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. He’s putting on socks while hopping towards Lucas on one leg.  _ He was always a weird one, glad to see that hasn’t changed. _

He takes a seat across Lucas and looks at him, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth while fidgeting with the strings of his pants. 

“So, I’m sorry for the way I behaved last week. It was just quite a shock. I’ve followed your account for four years now and you’re my favourite artist. I just didn’t expect to suddenly see you after all these years and you being Otelli, it was just too much in one go.” Lucas blurts out in a long string of words.

Eliott nods. “Five... Five years, almost.” 

Lucas isn’t sure what he means. “What?” 

“I started the account exactly one year after we broke up and you followed me about two months after I posted for the first time. I thought I died of a heart attack when I saw your name in my followers list.” 

Lucas can’t help but chuckle. “You randomly popped up in my recommended and I was intrigued. Beautiful works with all these bright colours and emotions, stories about love and friendship all told through paintings.” 

“All the works are dedicated to either you or our relationship. It was my way of processing what had happened.” Eliott has a serious look on his face. He’s biting his lip again and he looks even more nervous than when he first sat down.

Lucas is feeling conflicted. He hated Eliott, the person who broke his heart. But it had been six years and he seems like a different person. A person that is feeling nervous and sad. He wants to reach out and touch him, comfort him, but he wants to hear him out first.

Lucas is sure that if he would hug Eliott now he would never let go of him and he needs to let him tell his story. 

"So… What exactly happened Eli, and why?" 

Eliott looks up, right into Lucas' eyes. He looks so sad, making Lucas feel even more conflicted. 

"I… First of all, I'm sorry for everything that happened. You didn't deserve any of that. I was really happy when we were together, you have to know that. I loved you. I think I still do." 

_ I might still love you too.  _

Lucas stays quiet, but gives Eliott an encouraging nod and a warm smile.

"When I… I cheated on you, I wasn't myself. I wasn’t in control of my own decisions. When Yann saw me at that club, the look in his eyes told me enough. I went home and I tried…” 

Eliott avoids Lucas’ eyes and looks down at his feet. “I tried to end my life, because living life without you just wasn't worth it.”

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck, no.  _

“My parents made me see a psychiatrist. She diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. They weren't sure what to do with me, so they decided to move to our holiday home. I guess the fresh air was supposed to do me good or something. But they were probably just ashamed of me and wanted me out of the way to keep their image clean at the office. You know my parents.” 

Lucas nods, even though Eliott is still staring at his feet. He audibly swallows before continuing. 

“It all went by in a haze. I basically slept through the whole move and only got out of the depressive state when I was there for a few weeks. When I tried to call and text you, I saw that you had me blocked everywhere. That hurt so much, but I knew I had to let you go. After that, I refused to take my meds for a while, they make me feel numb, Lucas, not like myself. I hate it. But at the same time being myself isn’t good either, because I make stupid decisions and hurt the people around me." 

Lucas sees Eliott tear up. He is still avoiding Lucas’ eyes.

It’s a lot to take in in one go. But the story does make sense to Lucas. Because of his mother’s mental health, he knows enough about bipolar disorder to connect the dots. Yes, Eliott had cheated on him, but he was in a manic state. He couldn’t hold him accountable for those actions. 

"Fuck, Eli, I didn't know. I’m sorry."

He gets up from his seat and kneels down in front of Eliott, grabs his face and wipes his tears away with his thumbs. 

“Look at me baby, it’s okay. I’m here now, let me take care of you.” Lucas wraps his arms around Eliott’s waist and lets his head rest on his chest. 

Eliott reciprocates the hug, wrapping his arms around Lucas and holding him tight. Lucas feels him softly kissing his hair, like he used to do when they were young and Lucas was nervous or sad. Being like this, with Eliott, feels like home. 

“Thank you for listening, Lu. I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

There’s still a whole lot they will have to discuss and figure out, but for now, Lucas couldn’t be any happier. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really can not write these two as enemies :'D
> 
> Thank you for reading so far <3


	6. Wednesday July 1st 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small chapter because I am very busy with school...

**Eliott**

“We need to talk.” Lucas is pacing around the hotel room. Eliott had let him in a couple of seconds ago. His heart pounding in his chest when he opened the door and saw Lucas on the other side, looking handsome as ever. 

They hadn’t seen or talked to each other since the weekend of the gallery event. Eliott had respected the fact that Lucas needed time to figure out his feelings and make sense of everything that had happened.

After everything had gone down, they had sat in silence, holding each other. After a while Lucas had let go of him and stood up. He made Eliott promise that he would take care of himself and to let him think about everything. Lucas had hugged him once more before leaving him behind in the hotel room.

“Fuck.” Lucas looks over at the packed suitcase on the bed. “Are you leaving?” He actually looks sad. That must be a good sign.  _ He doesn’t want me to leave. He wants me to stay. _

He stops his pacing and looks at Eliott with a weird expression on his face.

“I’m leaving the hotel, yes, but not Paris. I actually quite like being back in the city. I put down a deposit on a small studio.” He smiles at Lucas, who is looking at him with wide eyes and his mouth slightly open. 

Eliott wonders what could be going through his mind at the time. Would he be happy? Or is this too much? Would he rather have Eliott as far away from him as possible?  _ He does want me to leave. No, he just seemed sad about me leaving, right? Fuck. Maybe he thinks I am staying for him. _ That is partially true, but Lucas doesn’t need to know that. 

“I, ehm, I have been missing Paris for a while now. The countryside can get quite boring and lonely. I really missed the sounds and the excitement. It’s also nice to be away from my parents. They can be quite… Well, you know them.” 

Lucas nods slowly before furrowing his brows. “You put a deposit down? Just like that?” 

_ Why is he stuck on that part? Why are we even talking about this? We have more important things to discuss.  _

“Yeah, I did. Art sales and all, you know.” He smiles at Lucas, who is still looking confused.

“So you’re back in Paris permanently?” 

“Yeah, I think it would do me good to live here. But… You wanted to talk right? Sit down.” Eliott nods towards the seating area before heading to the small kitchen and retrieving two water bottles from the fridge. 

He hands one to Lucas and takes the seat opposite him.

Lucas fidgets with the bottle before unscrewing the cap and taking a sip, wetting his lips and opening his mouth to speak, only to close it again.

When he does speak, he doesn’t look at Eliott. He chooses a point on the coffee table between them and keeps his focus on it the entire time. 

“Eli… I have had some time to think.” He pauses and looks up before looking away again. “I got really confused when we met again. At first I just felt anger, but then my old feelings resurfaced and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to feel. It was a weird mix of hate and love. When you told me all the stuff about your mental health I felt sad as well and I got even more confused.” 

He finally makes eye contact with Eliott. “All I thought about in that moment was that I wanted to take care of you. I wanted to make  _ you  _ feel better, make sure you felt safe and loved. But that is unfair, Eliott.” 

He takes a deep breath before continuing. “You hurt me so much and all I could think about was to make you happy. I forgot about all the hurt that I have felt the past few years and all the shit you’ve put me through.” 

Eliott quietly stares at Lucas. 

_ What the fuck am I supposed to respond to that?  _

He had felt the same, but he isn’t sure if this is the time and place to tell Lucas that. He would do anything for Lucas. He would give his life to make sure Lucas was happy. 

“I’m sorry Lu.” 

“Yeah, I know, you’ve told me plenty of times. But it doesn’t really change anything, does it?” The harshness in his voice stings, but Eliott keeps a straight face.

“You broke my heart and for some reason I still care so much about you. One one hand I want you to leave and never return again and on the other hand I know that that would break my heart. Again. I am constantly stuck between punching you in the face and pulling you into my arms.”

The last sentence catches Eliott off guard. Would Lucas actually be interested in resuming their relationship? It’s fragile hope, but Eliott would take anything he offers him. He is well aware that he needs to work on himself before he would even ask Lucas if he would like to be part of his life again, but the fact that Lucas is even thinking about it, gives him a sliver of hope. 

Lucas takes another sip of his drink and looks at Eliott, challenging him to answer all his questions. Eliott isn’t sure how to. He has obviously thought about everything that went down as well. He is just as confused about Lucas as the other way around. 

“To be honest, I hadn’t really even expected you to give me a chance to explain. You seemed very adamant about not wanting to see me again. Which I very much understand, because I know what I did was wrong and I am well aware of how much I have hurt you by doing all those bad things.” 

Lucas narrows his eyes. He seems to be repeating the sentences in his head, carefully picking them apart and examining each word carefully. Deciding what he should do.

Eliott pauses to steady his breathing, the nerves getting the better of him. “It’s your choice if you want me to be in your life or not. I’m the one who fucked up.” 

He doesn’t tell Lucas that he would do absolutely anything to get him back in his life. 

**Lucas**

_ It’s your choice if you want me to be in your life or not. I’m the one who fucked up. _

Yes, Eliott, you definitely did fuck up. Lucas feels like punching a wall. They are going in circles. Eliott is probably ready to give Lucas his life. Drop everything he has and devote his life to him. Lucas isn’t sure what he wants, but he is certain that that isn’t what they need right now. 

The last couple of days he had gone over every possible scenario. Eliott not being in his life at all, Eliott as a friend, more than a friend... He still isn’t sure what he wants. All he knows for sure is that he doesn’t want to be hurt like that ever again.

“The problem is that I don’t know what I want, Eli. I love you, still. Even after you cheated on me and left me. I never stopped. But I couldn’t handle going through that pain again once more in my life. You have to understand.”

Eliott slowly nods. He whispers a quiet “I never stopped loving you either” before staring at the wall, biting his lip and nervously moving his hands around in his lap.

“I went through all the scenarios in the last couple of days, Eli. The one thing I was sure of is that I don’t want you to completely disappear again. I guess we solved that with you moving here.” 

Eliott stays quiet.

“Then there’s the option to become friends. It is how we started out. We were good as friends, right?”

The other boy is still quiet. Lucas is becoming annoyed. This is not a conversation, this is a monologue. What does he want Eliott to say though? Does he want him to tell Lucas it will all be okay? That all is forgiven and they can move on like nothing happened?

That they should just become boyfriends again? Try again with renewed trust? Lucas isn’t sure if he could. His feelings are still all over the place. The fact that Eliott is so unresponsive isn’t helping. 

It’s too much. If Eliott isn’t saying anything, Lucas might as well leave. He gets up from his seat and places the half empty water bottle on the coffee table.

Eliott hasn’t moved a muscle and he is avoiding Lucas’s eyes. 

“Eliott, fucking speak, please. I don’t know what to do anymore! I hate you. I fucking hate you for what you did to me. I hate you with everything I have. You fucked everything up for me then and you did it again now. You come back and you expect what of me? You expect me to take you back? After you fucked all of Paris while we were still together?” 

Lucas practically yells at Eliott. His blood is boiling. He balls his fist and punches the wall closest to him. The impact is enough to break the thin skin on his knuckles, blood appearing on them quickly. A warm, painful feeling spreads through his fingers. 

Eliott abruptly gets up, rushing over to Lucas to take his injured hand in his own. Lucas pulls it close to his own body and steps back. Eliott sits back down in the chair. Big, sad eyes look at him.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. But at the same time... I look at you... At that face of yours that is so familiar and special to me and I am ready to forgive you and take you back like nothing happened. That’s not normal. What the actual fuck am I supposed to do Eliott? Why are you so fucking quiet?”

Lucas is still yelling. Eliott seems to suddenly be smaller than Lucas, even though he is quite sure it has always been the other way around. He looks small and fragile, like he could break at any moment. 

“I… I ehm.” The words come out choked, like Eliott is on the verge of crying. “I just… I hope you can forgive me one day Lucas. I’m not sure what else I can do right now. You already know I am sorry and that I would absolutely not do anything like that if I was in my right mind.” 

A few tears roll down his cheek, making it hard for Lucas to not also choke up.

“I understand what you are feeling. You have all the right to hate me, Lu. I would hate me. You had just fully trusted me. I know how frightened you were about having sex and that changing us. I told you that you could trust me and then I broke that trust a week later.” 

Lucas isn’t sure what to say. After the silence he got from Eliott this is a lot to handle in one go. Eliott is asking for his forgiveness. How is he even supposed to do that?

Before he can answer, Eliott is suddenly in front of him, one hand reached out towards him. Lucas takes the small piece of paper from him with the hand that just punched a wall. He winces at the sharp pain in his knuckles.

“It’s my new address. I’m checking out of the hotel tomorrow morning and will be there from then on. Take your time to think and come around whenever you are ready to talk more.” 

_ This is it? He wants me gone?  _ Eliott does look tired. He has dark circles under his eyes and his cheeks seem hollow. Had he looked like that the whole time or did this happen suddenly? 

“Okay.” 

He pockets the piece of paper and watches as Eliott gets up, turns around and crawls into his bed, pressing his face into his pillow. A feeling of worry overcomes Lucas. Was this like what he had told him? When he slept for days because he was depressed? 

“Eli? Are you going to be okay?” 

“Yes, Lucas. I know what you are thinking and no, I’m not depressed, I just need a moment to think. Come by my apartment in a couple of days.”

His voice comes out muffled, but Lucas understands what he says. 

“Okay Eli. Please be safe. I will see you.” Lucas stands there for a moment, but Eliott doesn’t seem to be planning on looking up from his pillow or answering, so he leaves the hotel room and closes the door behind him. The feeling of dread weighs heavy on his heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big sad.


	7. Friday July 3d

**Lucas**

Noah’s tupperware box has been staring at Lucas for over a week. He really should bring it by the bakery that he had been avoiding since the gallery event, because he still feels extremely bad about how it went down and he hadn’t had the balls yet to go over there and talk. The box has been in Lucas’ hands plenty of times. One time he even put it in his bag to go over there on his way home, but he took it back to work the next day.

_ Today will be the day. I have waited long enough. _

Lucas picks his phone up from the desk and starts to type out a text to Noah to ask him if he is working that day, when the door swings open, revealing a very happy Chaumont. A sight they rarely get to see, unless there is money involved.

Their boss has a smile from ear to ear and a cardboard box under his arm.

“An anonymous buyer bought this shithole for way too much money. I’m retiring and letting that idiot take over. I never liked any of you anyways.” He snarls. 

Before any of them can respond, Chaumont turns on his heel and closes the door behind him.

Lucas can’t believe it. He is overjoyed that this asshole won’t be his boss anymore, but it’s a bit sudden. They’re halfway through planning a new exhibition and he wanted to ask his boss for a raise. Lucas feels like he deserves it with all the overtime he always does.. 

One of the interns starts giggling. “What a weird man that is. Let’s hope that the new boss is better.” 

Arthur slowly nods while staring at his computer screen with a sly grin. “Yeah… Well the new boss emailed me that we can go home and have the afternoon off. He will get the key from Chaumont later on and settle in.” 

He quickly shuts his computer off when Lucas gets behind him and gets up from his desk.  _ Weird. _

“Free afternoon boys and girls, let’s go!” Arthur slings his bag over his shoulder and looks over at Lucas, who is still at his desk. 

_ Okay so now there’s really no excuse to not go see Noah, fuck. _

Lucas shuts his computer off as well and grabs his bag, putting the box into it. “So, you’re finally going to see him?” Arthur inquires with a serious face. 

“Yeah, it’s about time. I feel so bad about what happened and how I handled it. And for what? I’ve fucked it up with Eliott as well. You should have seen him..” 

“Lu, what happened with Eliott was completely natural. You were too happy too quick, you guys needed to have a talk anyway. What happened with Noah on the other hand...”

“I know, don’t remind me.” Lucas rolls his eyes at Arthur, who gives him a sympathetic look before opening the front door of the gallery.

They walk out and stand in the sunlight when Arthur starts talking again. 

“But, as much as Eliott has done you wrong, I feel like he really is trying to get back into your life and to be better. I worked with him that whole time when you refused to and he is still the same Eliott we liked and you loved, but more grown-up and more stable.” 

“Wait what? I thought you were team Noah. A couple of weeks ago you told me to forget about Eliott and that I deserved to move on and all that.”

“I’m not team Eliott, I’m also not team Noah. I’m team Lucas. You are my friend and I care about you. I want you to be happy and you could lie to me and tell me you feel the same spark with Noah as with Eliott, but I wouldn’t believe you because I have seen it with my own eyes. I’ve seen you with Noah and I’ve seen how you reacted to Eliott. You looked like you were to give up your entire life for him, Lu. The way you two always stare into each other’s souls is creepy but also kind of endearing I guess.”

Lucas is baffled.

“Is that… Is that why you were encouraging me to go talk to him?” 

Arthur nods with a small smile. “He told me why everything happened and that he wanted to talk to you. You just needed an encouraging shove in the right direction.” Arthur smiles a bright smile before giving Lucas an actual shove. “Let’s walk. I want to head home and take a nap.” 

They walk towards Arthur’s apartment and continue their conversation. 

“Okay, so, seeing as you are so smart and apparently all-knowing… What should I do with Noah and what should I do with Eliott?”

Arthur narrows his eyes for a few seconds while looking at Lucas. “Noah should be easy. Tell him sorry and give him that stupid box back. You guys went out on one and a half dates, shit happens. And for Eliott… From what you have told me about your last encounter, he really is trying and he apologized a lot for all the things that went down. I think you two should at least become friends again and see what happens.” 

Lucas takes all the information in, hearing the sentences over and over again in his head. “So I should give Eliott another chance? And let Noah go?”

“Yes and yes. I don’t really think Noah is saveable, even if you would want that.” Arthur chuckles. 

Lucas rolls his eyes again. “Thanks Art. Go take a nap. I’m getting this bakery visit over and done with.”

Arthur gives him a quick wave before disappearing into his apartment complex.

Lucas makes his way to the bakery slower than he usually would. 

He looks inside through the glass and sees Noah cleaning up a table. Apart from an elderly couple, no one is inside the bakery. 

_ Let’s get this over with. _

He steps inside, making the bell by the door sound. Noah looks up and meets Lucas’ eye. A confused look crosses a face, but then he smiles.

_ Why is he smiling?  _

Lucas steps closer, still unsure about the whole situation. “Lucas, it’s good to see you.” 

_ Good? To see… Me? _

“Hey Noah, it’s good to see you too… I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about our last date. That was unfair towards you. I swear I didn’t know Eli-” 

Noah cuts him off and puts a hand on his arm. “Lucas, it’s okay. Eliott came in the next day and told me that it wasn’t your fault, that you had no clue that he would be back in your life and that you had avoided him as much as possible.”

“He.. What?” 

“Yeah, he felt bad about it all and wanted to make it up for you.” 

“Why didn’t you text me then?”

“Lucas. You and Eliott belong in a romance movie about soulmates or some shit. It was a miracle you two didn’t light the gallery up with all the sparks flying around you guys. I think you should be with him. I had fun, but I’m pretty sure we could never have as much chemistry as you two.”

For the second time that day, Lucas is left speechless. Why is everyone interfering with his life and talking about him behind his back? It’s almost like the universe is trying to tell him something. 

Noah sets the cups that were in his hand down on the counter and makes his way back to the still silent Lucas. ”Also, you told me to go see your old roommate, Mika. Well, turns out he is quite a fun guy to hang out with.” Noah winks at Lucas and gives him a beautiful smile.

“You? And Mika?” 

Noah nods and his smile gets even brighter. “Best decision of my life to go over there.” 

Lucas swears he is in a romantic comedy or something like that. The guy he went on one and a half date with is now with his old roommate, he has a new mysterious boss and everyone is telling him to get back together with Eliott. 

It’s obviously not like he wouldn’t want to, but he expected more resistance. He wonders what Yann would say. He has never been a huge fan of Eliott, only when they did actually date did he tolerate him, but he had always been suspicious. If even Yann tells him to go for it, he might even do it. 

“I’m very happy for you Noah.” Lucas smiles and puts his backpack on the table closest to him, unzipping it and taking the tupperware out. “I still had this, you left in quite a hurry and I didn’t have the balls to come back here before now.” 

Noah takes the box from him and grins. “This mean I will see you around here again?” 

“Definitely, I was really missing the food.” Lucas winks at him before slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

“That’s good. Maybe you can take Eliott on a date here?” 

“Yeah… Maybe.” 

****************************************************************************************************

“Lucas? What are you doing here? Why didn’t you call?” Yann is standing in the door opening of his house with a bewildered look on his face.

“I’m sorry to come by unannounced. If you’re busy I will come back another time.” 

“No, come in, it’s my day off so I was just playing some games. What’s up dude?”

They walk into the hallway. Lucas closes the door behind him and follows Yann into the living room after taking his shoes off. 

“Grab a drink from the kitchen if you want to. I’m saving my game and then we can talk.” Lucas nods and makes his way to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and walking back to Yann, who is sitting on the couch, waiting for him. Lucas sits down next to him and puts his water on the coffee table before turning towards his best friend. 

“So… I talked to Noah.” 

Yann perks up on the couch and smiles. “Really? And?” 

“Well, he and Mika are apparently together.” 

“Wait what? Since when?” 

“I don’t know. Recently. He said we didn’t have the same spark as I do with Eliott. And he also said I should go for it with Eliott, that we are meant to be.” 

Yann sighs and looks at his hands before looking at Lucas again. “I heard from Arthur what happened and he saw it too. In my mind he is still that cheating son of a bitch, but he came by my work earlier this week to talk.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this? And what did you two talk about?” 

“He asked me about you, how your work was and what you thought about your boss. Asked me about Noah too and if you guys had made up. And then he told me about that night at the club, explained why he left and everything. He also said that he is sorry for how everything went down and that he never meant to hurt you.” 

Lucas is getting even more annoyed. Eliott had apparently talked to everyone about him, maybe trying to make amends, but no one deemed it important to tell him? With this knowledge he might have treated him differently two days ago.

“But why didn’t you text me?”

“I don’t feel like it was my place to tell. He would’ve told you himself if he wanted to. I think he is trying to make peace with everyone around you.”

_ Did he succeed though? Has Yann forgiven Eliott? Would he be okay if he came back into our lives permanently?  _

“I can hear you thinking, Lu. Yes, I forgave him on my part. I did tell him that I can not do that for you and that he needs to work that out with you.”

“Should I?”

“Forgive him? I think you already have. You wouldn't be running around like a headless chicken trying to get everyone’s permission to get back together with him if you didn’t.” Yann chuckles before continuing. “You know you don’t need anyone’s permission right? You know how my parents were when I started dating Emma and look at us now, getting married, owning a house. You need to do what feels good in your heart Lu.” 

_ When did Yann become such a sap? Must be the wedding stuff. _

“My heart tells me to give him another chance.”

“Then go get your man, go be happy.” 

**Eliott**

From the moment that Lucas had left Eliott in the hotel room, he had this horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. To be completely honest, he would give anything to go out, drink a bunch of alcohol and wake up in a stranger’s arms, but he knows that is not the way to go. It’s bad for his physical and mental health and it’s definitely not the way to Lucas’ heart.

_ Lucas’ heart.  _ Would he even have a chance to ever call that beautiful, fragile thing his own? Probably not, but there is no reason not to try. Instead of feeling sorry for himself, Eliott is powering through and distracting himself. He is currently busy rebuilding the bookcase that he had in his old apartment. 

Idriss had offered to drive his van full of Eliott’s stuff to Paris. Now that he would move here, Idriss would soon follow, after staying at his parents’ and Eliott’s for a couple of weeks. 

They had both been happy with the decision. Idriss is glad to be closer to his family and Eliott is happy to be in Paris again, surrounded by all the people and the sounds and smells of the city.

After finishing the bookcase, Eliott places his books and framed photos on the same places they used to be. He stands back and admires his work. 

The apartment looks like his old one, but this one is a bit spacier and has a better lay-out. It has two and a half bedrooms, which means he has a nice arts room and a guest bedroom, which Idriss will use for a few weeks. 

Eliott is pouring himself a cup of coffee when he hears a knock on the door. 

_ Speaking of the devil...  _ Idriss would meet him in an hour and it was unlike him to be this early, but maybe he has something important to discuss.

With the cup in his hand, he walks over to the door and opens it.

Idriss practically pulls him into the hallway. “Eliott. What the actual fuck did you do? You think that you can just buy him? Throw around some money and win your way back into his heart?”

The sudden burst of anger startles Eliott. He stays quiet while Idriss keeps yelling at him in the hallway. 

“That’s not how it works dude. You can’t buy people’s love. He has to come to you and actually forgive you. Lucas wouldn’t appreciate being bought. You and I both know that.” 

Eliott has no clue what Idriss is talking about. It had never even crossed his mind to win Lucas back with his money. It’s a topic he had purposefully avoided. He is quite offended that Idriss would think so low of him.

“Idriss, what the fuck. You’ve seen that asshole of a boss Chaumont. He is shit at his work and a shit person in general. He doesn’t pay his employees enough and all he cares about is money. Lucas and Arthur are- or were my friends and they deserve better.” 

Idriss narrows his eyes but doesn’t say anything. 

“I’ve always wanted to own a gallery and help young artists start their career. It wouldn't be about making money in the gallery, but about art. And I would pay everyone who works there a normal salary.” 

“This is such a typical  _ you _ action. You know I am your manager right? I should help you with financial decisions, especially a big one like this. It impacts your time to work. Would you be at the gallery every day? When would you paint?” 

“Chaumont barely did any work. I’m pretty sure Arthur and Lucas would be perfectly capable to organise everything. I would do half days at the gallery and half days painting. I could bring an easel into the office and do both at once. I have my drinking under control, I’m taking my meds. I’m doing good Idriss, please believe in me.” 

Idriss’ mouth drops. “I do believe in you. I just don’t want you to try so hard to get Lucas back and then get your heart broken.” 

Eliott is practically fuming. He would rather eat his own hand than continue this conversation. “Did you just listen to anything I said? I’m not trying to get Lucas back, I’m just trying to do what is right.”

“It would be a nice plus though, right?” Another voice interrupts their heated conversation. 

Lucas is standing at the end of the hallway, arms crossed and a grin on his face. 

Both Eliott and Idriss turn to him in shock. Eliott wonders how much of the conversation Lucas had actually listened in on.

“So, you’re the anonymous buyer?” Lucas walks up to them and cocks his head. 

Eliott isn’t sure of the tone in his voice. He doesn’t sound mad, more amused or something like that. It’s weird.

“Yes, he is. And I think he is very stupid for making that decision alone.” Idriss 

Lucas is watching Eliott with a smirk on his lips. 

“Well, I, for one, can tell you we were all very happy to be rid of Chaumont. You did us all a favour Eliott. I hope you’ll be a better boss.” Lucas responds with a wink.

_ Did he just wink at me? What the fuck?  _

Lucas keeps staring at Eliott with a weird look on his face.

Idriss suddenly clears his throat, pulling both boys out of their staring contest. “Alright… I’ll leave you weirdo’s to it and stay at my parents’ tonight.” 

Before either of them can respond, Idriss leaves them in the hallway and disappears around the corner. His receding footsteps echoing in the silence between them.

“Uhm… Do you want to come in?” Eliott moves towards the still open door of his apartment. 

Lucas nods and almost pushes Eliott into his own home, making his way into it as well and closing the door behind him. Eliott keeps walking into the apartment backwards, Lucas following suit. 

His legs hit the back of the couch in the living room, making Lucas come to a halt right in front of him. 

Lucas’ face is only a couple of centimetres removed from his own. Eliott can smell his perfume and if he would listen closely, he is pretty sure he could hear his heart beating in his chest.

“Apparently the whole fucking universe is on my side and everyone is telling me to give you a second chance. Should I?”

Eliott just looks at the boy, mouth slightly ajar.  _ Is he being serious right now? _

“I think you really have made an effort to make things better. You’ve gone to Noah, you’ve gone to Yann. You’ve made my shitty boss disappear.” He pauses and pulls his bottom lip into his mouth. “You still make my heart explode like when we were teenagers. My god, Eli, just looking at you drives me crazy.” 

_ What? _

Eliott is feeling conflicted. Just two days ago Lucas told him he hated him and now he is here about to jump his bones.

“Thought you hated me.” The words are barely louder than a whisper, but Lucas must’ve heard it, because his whole demeanor changes. He takes a step back, the smile on his face drops and his eyes grow distant, the spark in them immediately gone. 

Fuck. This isn’t what he wanted either. He wants, no  _ needs _ Lucas to be happy. There’s been enough drama between them the last few weeks, years even. It’s time to get all that behind them and move on from it. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Eliott says quietly. 

Lucas smiles softly before shaking his head. “You don’t have to be sorry. You’re right. My emotions are all over the place.” He pauses and takes one of Eliott’s hands in his own. 

The feeling Eliott had felt every time Lucas would be close to him, suddenly jolts through his body at the touch of their hands. Lucas must feel it too, because his cheeks flush. 

“I am sure now Eliott. I forgive you. You have done more than enough to make it up to me. If you’ll take me, I would like to have you back in my life, as friends or as more than friends. If you choose the second option, we will have to talk and set strict boundaries though.”

“Yeah. Yes, of course.” 

“Yes, you’ll take me back?” 

“Come here you shithead.” 

Lucas giggles and lets himself be pulled into Eliott’s arms. “You’re taking good care of yourself, I heard you tell Idriss. If you keep on doing that and promise me never to make that same mistake again, I trust you. I trust you and I love you.” 

Eliott can’t believe it. He is holding Lucas,  _ his  _ Lucas. Eliott leans down slightly to rest his face on top of Lucas’ head, inhaling the familiar scent of the other man.

“I promise, Lu. And I love you too.” Eliott speaks the words into Lucas’ soft strands.

Lucas hugs Eliott even tighter before moving his face right in front of Eliott’s, glancing down at his lips and back up at his eyes. 

Eliott’s heart is beating like crazy and he feels heat creep up his neck. Is this really happening again? After all these years? He wonders if it will feel different or exactly the same as it used to. 

When their lips touch, Eliott gets the answer to his questions. It feels way different and familiar at the same time. Lucas’ lips feel like they belong on his own, like they should never part. 

Lucas’ arms wrap around his neck, pulling Eliott closer to him. 

He feels Lucas parting his lips slightly, inviting Eliott to deepen the kiss. He slips his tongue into Lucas’ mouth, sending shivers down his spine. 

Eliott pulls back to catch his breath and looks into Lucas’ eyes. “Fuck… That was…”

“Yeah, it was.” Lucas smiles shyly. 

“I’m so happy Lulu.” Eliott kisses the top of Lucas’ head. 

“Me too Eli, me too.” 

“Do you want to get some dinner?” 

Lucas smiles at Eliott before stepping back. “Yes, but let’s order. I want to cuddle up on the couch and watch garbage television.” He chirps.

“Great idea Lu. Burgers and fries?” 

Lucas chuckles. “You know me too well.” 

After their food has suddenly arrived, the boys sit next to each other on the couch, some reality television show playing in the background while they stuff their faces, chatting and smiling at each other.

Eliott feels so comfortable with Lucas. After all the ups and downs they went through the last two weeks, this feels great. He isn’t stupid, they still have to figure a lot out and there probably be problems in the future, but for now, he is happy with Lucas in his arms. 

“So… Idriss isn’t coming back right?” Lucas lifts his eyebrows with a suggestive smile and climbs on top of Eliott’s lap.

“No… He’s staying at his parents’ house.” His voice comes out hoarse and his hands are shaking while reaching around Lucas’ to be placed on his lower back. 

Lucas grins and leans down to lick Eliott’s bottom lip before softly biting down on it, making Eliott involuntarily grind up against Lucas’ ass.

A small gasp escapes the other boy’s lips. 

Eliott reaches up and kisses Lucas again, licking into his mouth and nipping at his lips to satisfy the hunger inside of him.

Lucas leans back to take his shirt off, revealing a body Eliott hasn’t seen in years. He’s definitely been working out the last couple of years. He looks really fucking good, especially in his own lap with  _ that  _ look on his face. 

“Stop drooling and get yours off as well.” Lucas chuckles while tugging at Eliott’s shirt. 

Eliott complies and hears Lucas mutter a quiet  _ Jesus _ under his breath. The way Lucas is eyeing him right now, makes his dick twitch.

Glancing down at Lucas’ lap, he sees how desperate he is as well. Eliott pulls the boy close to him and they continue to make out for a bit. Eliott moves his hands from Lucas’ lower back to his thighs, gently rubbing both sides, until Lucas suddenly glides out of Eliott’s grip and stands up in front of him. 

“Should we take this to the bedroom?” 

Eliott’s heart skips a beat. “Yeah, yes please.” His voice betrays him again, the nerves getting the better of him. Lucas seems to be confident, but knowing him, he is just as nervous as Eliott at the moment. 

Lucas pushes Eliott on the bed and takes his own shorts off before climbing on top of him again. 

The tight grey underwear Lucas is wearing leaves nothing to the imagination. The obscene outline has Eliott’s mouth watering. 

After following Eliott’s gaze, Lucas smiles and slowly peels his underwear off, making sure to make it quite a show for his audience. 

Eliott grabs Lucas by his hips and flips them around, taking control. He wiggles out of his pants and underwear, now being naked as well.

Watching Lucas lying there, legs slightly apart and his bottom lip pulled into his mouth has Eliott almost cum then and there, but he needs to make this special moment last. He needs to take care of his man. 

Hovering and softly nibbling on the soft skin of his neck, Eliott takes Lucas into his hand and starts to slowly stroke him. 

Lucas gasps, closes his eyes and moans, thrusting his hips up into the other boy’s hand. 

“Feels so good Eli, I missed this.” 

“Me too, Lu. I missed you.” 

Lucas opens his eyes and smiles at Eliott before looping his arms around his back and pulling him against his own body. “Me too babe, I’m happy to have you back.” 

Eliott feels warm inside, completely forgetting about what they were doing until he feels his neglected dick twitch against Lucas’ tigh. 

“Eli, it’s been a while since… Well… Since you I haven’t been really intimate with anyone. I’ve had some random hook-ups, but not in recent years. So don’t judge if it's all over quickly.”

“Let’s make this extra special then.” Eliott says before resuming his previous position. He wets his hand with saliva and takes both of them in one hand, eliciting more gasps and moans from Lucas. 

He already feels like he is on the verge of tipping over, even after only a couple of strokes. Lucas writhing and moaning under him doesn’t help much. 

When he feels Lucas tense up under him, he speeds his movements up, making sure to take good care of him.

Lucas’ sounds become more erratic. “Eli, I’m-” He starts spilling over his own stomach, Eliott following a couple seconds later. 

Of all the hookups he has had in the past, however hot the person was, he had never felt this satisfied and happy. 

“Jesus, that was really hot, Lu. I’ve always wanted to try that.” 

“I’m glad you finally did then.” Lucas’ cheeks are a shade of crimson that Eliott should definitely paint sometime. He could call the painting  _ lust. _

After giving Lucas a quick kiss on the lips, Eliott gets up and walks towards the bathroom, grabbing a towel to clean Lucas up with. 

“Are you staying the night?” 

Lucas nods and settles in Eliott’s arms with a huge smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an emotional rollercoaster to write... I hope you guys like it :)
> 
> It's 4:30 here at the moment, so if there's any spelling or grammar errors, please let me know and I will fix them!


	8. Friday August 28th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter was a bit rushed, because I lost inspiration, but I wanted to finish it nevertheless. A lot of fluff (:

**Eliott**

Lucas’ skin feel soft and warm under Eliott’s fingers. He traces the bones of his spine all the way down to Lucas’ ass. He softly kneads the flesh between his fingers, evoking a small smile from the other boy’s lips, who is still pretending to be fast asleep. 

Eliott still can’t believe that he can call this boy his again. If he knows one thing for sure, it’s that he will never do anything to hurt Lucas ever again. The only thing he wants is for Lucas to be happy, for them to be happy together.

“What are you up to? I don’t think I can go again after this morning.” Lucas sounds tired but pleased; exactly how Eliott is feeling as well.

They had woken up early to get their suits and some breakfast at the bakery. Noah had greeted them with the widest smile Eliott had ever seen. He had offered them a ride to the wedding, as he and Mika were heading that way anyway. It would save them gas money and it was also good for the planet, so they couldn’t refuse the offer.

Noah had left them with a satisfied nod.

When they got back to Eliott’s apartment, Lucas couldn’t keep his hands off his boyfriend, pushing him into the bedroom and onto the bed. Eliott had let him take control, giving him what he needed. It had been hot and fast, nothing like their usual morning sex, but something had Lucas riled up and Eliott didn’t mind.

After that they had snuggled up and taken an afternoon nap. 

“Just admiring my beautiful boyfriend.” Eliott kisses the skin on Lucas’ lower back before the other boy turns to lie on his back and smiles up at Eliott. “My view isn’t too bad either.” 

“Not too bad huh?” Eliott smirks before getting up from the bed. “We should shower before getting dressed, baby.” 

Lucas sighs before reluctantly getting up and following his boyfriend into the warm shower. They take turns soaping each other’s bodies and hair. 

These small interactions make Eliott feel warm inside. He obviously enjoys the physical part, but this, showering together, preparing dinner or grocery shopping is what makes him really happy. 

A small smile crosses Lucas’ lips. Eliott leans down and kisses him softly, drawing soft mewls from the other boy’s throat. 

Lucas carefully pushes Eliott away from him. “If you keep this up, we’ll be late.” 

Eliott pulls back and sighs. “After the party then?” 

“Definitely.” Lucas raises his eyebrows and smiles before getting out of the shower and grabbing them both a towel. 

After drying off and putting on their suits for the wedding, Eliott can’t help but stare at Lucas. He looks really good in a suit. He can’t help but wonder if Lucas would want to get married to him in the future. He obviously isn’t going to ask him right now. They’ve only officially been dating a little over a month now and he wouldn’t want to scare him away. 

Maybe he should ask Lucas if he wants to move in with him first. It would be great to have Lucas around all the time. He spends most of his nights at Eliott’s anyway, but it would be great to spend even more time together and get more of those moments he loves so much. 

“What are you smiling about?” 

“Just daydreaming. You look really fucking hot in that suit.” 

Lucas looks at him and smiles. Eliott knows that he is aware that there’s more to it, but he doesn’t push him. “So do you babe, I can’t wait to get you out of this suit once we’re back home.” 

With a wink, he turns around and walks towards the front door of Eliott’s apartment. 

It still baffles him that Lucas, the awkward closeted boy he got to know, can say such words with a straight face and then get on with his life like nothing happened.

**Lucas**

Emma had chosen a beautiful venue for the wedding; a small cottage with a huge chunk of land surrounding it, just outside of Paris.

A couple of horses are grazing on the field behind the cottage and the whole outside area is filled with fairy lights and flowers. It’s absolutely breathtaking.

Eliott is chatting with Mika and Noah at the gift table when Yann walks up to them. He’s fidgeting with his hands and nervously smiling at Lucas. 

“You’re not getting cold feet, are you? I’ll tie you to that pole over there if you are.” Yann looks at one of the poles holding up the lights and giggles. “My feet are very warm, don’t worry. Just nervous about this whole thing.” 

“That’s very normal Yann, but you two are made for each other. We’ve all known that from day one.” Eliott buds in with a sweet smile on his face. 

Lucas is glad that they’d made up. Eliott had even joined the bachelor party and they had the best time together, like they had never fallen out. 

Mika and Noah have taken a seat at the bar next to Arthur and Basile. The girls must still be helping Emma to get ready in the cottage.

“Yes I know, I just want everything to go perfect. She deserves that.” Eliott pats Yann on the shoulder with a reassuring smile. “I’m pretty sure Emma has every tiny detail planned. It will be okay Yann.” Lucas hugs his best friend. 

Yann nods but keeps fidgeting while he walks towards the bar with Eliott in tow. 

Lucas decides to go check on the girls. He walks towards the cottage and knocks on the door that says  _ bride.  _

Imane opens the door and pulls him inside. “Hurry up, Yann can’t see her in the dress, it’s bad luck!” 

Emma looks absolutely stunning in her dress and with her hair done up. Daphné is adding small white flowers to her hair while Alexia is applying her lipstick. “Wow, Emma, you look gorgeous.” 

“I better look gorgeous, with the amount of money we spent on this dress.” Lucas giggles and walks up to her, taking her hand. “You’re the most beautiful bride ever, but Yann is losing his shit, so hurry up and marry him before he starts puking and runs home.” 

Emma giggles and squeezes Lucas’ hand. “Yes, girls, we should get ready to move.” 

With squeals and giggles, the girls get up from their places and follow Lucas outside. Emma stays in the hallway, awaiting Arthur.

Yann is already standing at the end of the aisle with Basile next to him. Lucas takes his spot in between them and the girls hurry to their places on Yann’s other side.

Lucas smiles at Eliott, who is seated in the front row next to Emma’s mother. 

A love song starts playing the moment the cottage doors open and reveal Emma and Arthur. Lucas secretly glances over at his best friend, who is staring at his future wife with tears in his eyes.

Emma walks down the aisle towards them, arm hooked in Arthur’s. He had offered to walk her down the aisle, seeing as her dad had passed away and she didn’t have any siblings. Emma had gratefully accepted.

Lucas can’t help the smile on his face throughout the whole ceremony. He sheds a tear when the two exchange their vows and Yann kisses Emma.

It all goes by in a blur, but when the vows are exchanged, Lucas can’t help but look over at Eliott, who is staring at him as well with a small smile. 

What would Eliott look like standing there in a tux? He would be the most handsome groom in the universe, Lucas is sure of it. It’s a bit quick to have thoughts like this though; they’ve only been back together a month now. But for whatever reason he is sure that Eliott is the one, that they are meant to be together, no matter what they've been through. 

Lucas mouths an  _ I love you _ to his boyfriend before focussing on the ceremony again. 

*******************************************************************************************************************

It feels like they have been dancing for hours after the dinner. Lucas looks absolutely magnificent under the fairy lights. He keeps smiling his most beautiful smile at Eliott, making his heart flutter and his insides melt.

Holding him close to his chest while they dance, Eliott can’t imagine his life without Lucas. He would do anything to keep Lucas this close to him forever and never let him go.

“You guys are too cute.” Lily and Alexia walk up to them, hand in hand. “So, when is your guys’ big day?” 

Eliott let’s go of his grip on Lucas, who stands next to him, Eliott’s hand on his lower back.

Lucas feels the heat creep up to his cheeks. He glances over to Eliott, who is sporting a bright smile while looking at the girls.

“Tomorrow, right babe?” Eliott looks over to him with the same smile, making Lucas even more flushed. “I.. Uhm..” 

“Just kidding. We’ve only started dating guys. Have some patience. I bet you will be invited to the most fabulous gay wedding in a couple of years.”

The girls seem to be satisfied with that answer and walk away while giggling. 

Lucas has to ask. This would be a great chance. His heart is beating in his chest and he is getting overwhelmed by nerves, but Lucas really wants to know. “Would you… Would you really want to get married in the future?”

Eliott smiles and stands in front of Lucas. “Of course babe, when I saw you in this suit this morning, I had this moment when I pictured you at our wedding. I was too afraid to tell you, because it’s all still so new and I don't want to scare you away. But yeah, in a couple of years I would definitely want to make you my husband.” 

Lucas feels all kinds of emotions at the same time. Eliott is standing in front of him, looking as handsome as ever, saying these beautiful words.

“I was thinking the same.” Lucas answers with a grin. 

Eliott is so happy

“But..” Eliott looks away before looking at Lucas, making him feel nervous.  _ But what? _

“But, I think you should move in first. I mean, if you want to. Get you out of that lease and join me in my apartment.” 

_ It’s all so fast. Is it too fast? Would he regret this if it doesn’t work out?  _ Lucas has always been overthinking everything. Eliott makes him happy and he has more than proven that he has bettered his ways. 

_ Fuck it. _

“I would really like that Eli, I’m practically living at yours anyway.” 

Eliott lets out an audible sigh before smiling at his boyfriend. “You make me so happy, Lu.” 

Lucas hugs his boyfriend and nuzzles his face into his neck. “You too, Eli, you too. Now let’s go back to your place so I can keep my promise from this morning.” 

With a wink, Lucas turns around and goes to look for Mika and Noah, their ride back home. 

Eliott is still frozen in place. Lucas loves that he has this effect on his boyfriend. He can’t wait to see Eliott in this state daily. 

After saying goodbye to everyone and wishing Yann and Emma all the best, Lucas rounds up the guys he rode here with. 

“Ready to go boys?” Mika is sipping on a cocktail and Noah is drunkenly giggling next to him. Lucas is happy he decided not to drink tonight, because these idiots wouldn’t be safe on the road. 

Lucas gets into Noah’s car, Eliott next to him and the other two boys behind them. 

The way home seems to go by a lot faster than the way there. After dropping Noah and Mika off at Noah’s place, Lucas and Eliott walk the rest of the way home. 

Once inside, Eliott takes Lucas in his arms. Lucas softly kisses him on the neck. “I love you so much. I’m so happy that you were my wedding date. Who would’ve thought this would be the outcome of us meeting again?”

“I really hoped that this would happen when you messaged me, but I was scared I wouldn’t get you back. I’m glad you gave me a second chance. You make me so happy, Lu, I love you too.”

Lucas can't wait to spend the rest of his life with this man and he is sure Eliott feels the exact same way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :D

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3  
> 


End file.
